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Heavenly origins

Lifeaholic | 6 November 2005, 12:10pm

Are men and women really from different planets? I haven't read the famous text whose title suggests the same, but the importance of the idea is second only to the idea of a certain Mr Darwin. Men and women are different creatures. This is pretty evident to everyone but the Bisexuals who, the author proposes, have come from the yet-to-be-discovered planet of Tuticorin. The reason for the elusiveness of this planet from Hubblers is that its orbit swings in both directions around the sun, depending on whether it is nearer to Venus or Mars.

The Hubblers are, of course, the most evolved exponents of the Voyeuristic philosophy of "Look, feel, touch and have a tissue ready"

But, I am guilty of digressing from the main plot. This endaevour (its likely that it would never end, so wouldn't be more appropriate to call it 'endnaevour'?)

Drat! Damn! My digressing fingers

As I was saying, this endNaevour is a result of a bleak hope to make some sense of the innumerable complications since the great migration to the Earth.

To do so, we must first take a look back into the situations as they were before the migration. Due to a freak occurence on the planet Venus, about a gazillion years ago, there was an uncontrolled binary fission of a single endometrial cell, which through constant mutations, turned into the Uterus. The Uterii were exposed to several million years of superheating by the Sun, and life was basically one very long hot flash.

This prompted the legendary 3992nd head Uterus - Ursula HeavyFlow to propagate the truly incredible idea of a protective shell to house the Uterii. This idea was received as any idea would be received in the midst of a hot flash and Ursula HeavyFlow died a premature death due to exposure to high-pitched screaming. However, when night set in and the planet surface cooled the Uterii, they realised the folly of their actions and in the Post-Menopausal honour of Ursula, they named the shell "Body" (The concept of a brain was not developed until the days of the 4223rd head Uterus).

To be continued...



Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: The sweet ringtone of accomplishment

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