Ecstatic Failure

How do you let go of something you held dear for n number of years?

How does everything shatter with a sentence?

Why does a dream almost never turn into reality?

When the hell did life get this complicated???

How the hell did life get so complicated??

One day, we are just laughing and talking about what happened at school or what stupid game we were to play and then all of a sudden everything changed.

Don't give me all that adolescence and puberty bullshit. I know about all that. But then again, life jumped. It jumped and left me on the wrong side of the canyon and I'm still afraid to take that jump...maybe I took it and am looking longingly at the other end. And the strangest thing is, all the people in my life just took the jump and walked away, no one waited, no one even gave that canyon a second look....no one but me.
I wonder what happened. Many a times I wonder. How the hell did life manage this? How did the people manage this?? It was as if everyone just shed their innocence like old snake skin, which just had to be rubbed off. I don't understand it. Did we grow up? Is part of growing up giving up things which make your heart happy? Where did the sunshine go? Where did that little park of our imagination disappear to? Or does that only happen in cartoons?? Where time moves, but life does not. Where characters stay the same age forever.

Where did the purity go? The time when you did something, you did it for the mere joy of doing it. Not because it was smart, not because other people would talk about it, just because you wanted to do it.

When did we become old, mature? Where did those midsummer walks and talks go? Little games, stupid though they were, we'd laugh our heads off at them.

Everything forgotten so quickly? And then, why can't I forget all that? Why am I still left standing here? I still don't understand it.

Then there are some nights. Talking till 3 in the morning, laughing when the person who'd come to check on you left without realizing you were awake the entire night. Sharing stories about stupid professors and lecturers. How did it slip away?

I don't know what happened. All I know is that those days are gone and are probably never going to come back. All I know is that life left while I stayed.

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