"Dare to straddle the world" - challenges an 'extra large' Katrina Kaif, and at her size (which is an easy 100 times the size of an average Hyderabadi), she may actually manage to do it. A few miles down, she's there again, this time challenging us with "Dare to stay alive" - I hope too many lives weren't lost while staring at her enormity (along with other unmentionable aspects) and driving carelessly. While you are getting used to this phenomenon, she comes up with "Dare to bare the truth" and with an accompanying pose which would have you believe that she might bare her cosmetic falsehood, instead of the truth. On your way, there are more things she dares you (face the competition, etc. etc.) and after a few more sightings it becomes so unbearable, you cant but feel small and helpless. For the uninitiated (i.e. people who haven't been living in Hyderabad of late), I'm referring to the mega hoardings that dot the city's landscape.

While you are still recovering from the Katrina syndrome, you are confronted by another behemoth - this time it is Yana Gupta demonstrating with her largeness, how-not-to stand while wearing a salwar kameez. Salwar kameez - an attire that would have almost become our national dress for women, but for the unsportive southies who came brandishing their saris (just like they came up with their languages, ruining the chance for Hindi to claim its glory) - well.... <sentance aborted>. Salwar kameez - a symbol of love, respect, modesty, determination, motherhood...... and see what's happening to you on the billboards of Hyderabad? (I hope and pray that the Neeru's ad doesn't hang around on the sidelines of your screen, while you're reading this)

Having taken on the 'establishment' and demolished it to smithereens, let me focus my attention on another domain. Tollywood, here I come!These days I seem to see this banner everywhere (unless something is wrong with me). An image of a young hero blissfully sleeping - what's wrong with that, you may ask. Well, the hero's head is rested on his heroine's rich rear-end. The heroine, incidentally, is also lying down and providing her generous assets to facilitate his sleep, lovingly turning her head towards us and smiling in satisfaction at the whole situation. For the guy it must feel very cushiony and comfy, I suppose (i.e. as long as everything was fine with the heroine's diet in the last few hours). If you don't live in Hyd and are rushing to close this page in disgust, hold on! We Hyderabadis are made to bear watching such sights every time we decide to step out of our houses. At another time, there was this big banner featuring four youngsters (girls n guys) all dressed in shorts (no big crime, that). Only one of them prolly didnt notice that his shorts didn't have a button / elastic / strap / string(no 'g' in the beginning) or whatever that was required to retain it in its intended place, and so it was lying at his feet, for all of Hyderabad to see.

The average Hyderabadi male has to deal with two different views of womanhood. One - a few tens of feet above the ground dominated by the daring and baring woman, who'll stop at nothing to get what she wants (including him). She doesn't care for respect, approval, modesty, values or even your safety on the road. And the other view - of the woman firmly rooted to the ground - responsible, caring, hard-working and respectable, who is probably not as attractive as the former, but pretty nevertheless, coz she's real and not a fake.