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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

allsmiles | 01 June, 2004 15:56

by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.

  Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

       Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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[No Subject]

aloque | 01/06/2004, 16:56

before people comment on this totally new and improved language let me just say

the last line had me gasping for a return to sanity.

[No Subject]

mls | 01/06/2004, 17:28

imagine aloque, if we did use this language and there were typos ... :)

[No Subject]

Aran | 01/06/2004, 20:15

mls, we'd just be eliminating all the typos. I mean, with spelling like that, where's the place for typos? YEEAAAAAAHHHH!! Revolution! Death to typos!!!

[No Subject]

Guess!!!!! | 02/06/2004, 13:58

Hey!!! That was too good!!! I felt as if we are sitting together, and u are narrating this to me ;)

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