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21 Blues

krishnaveni | 8 May 2007, 10:45pm

"Apne bhi pesh aaye ajnabi sabhi...

Waqt ki saajish koi samjhe nahi....

Ek muqammal Kashmakashish hain zindagi...

Usne kabhi na ki humse dosti..."

Okay. So every Emran Hashmi fan can make out where those lines are from. But nevertheless, sometimes people write exactly what you are thinking about. It seems weird but it does happen.

So me completing 21 years of my life as the clock strikes midnight today. (This is considering the date of my birth not the time of my birth). And i couldn't find a better way to start it. Writing relieves me, not that i have a lot of tensions in my life but, it gives me some peace of mind. And its for you guys to say if i write good or bad. Anyways, moving on. All i did today was to remember all the things i can about my childhood. This is something i don't usually do but, wanted to today before i step into another new 365 day revolution. Its sometimes amazing how much memory you can have and you can still ignore it for all your life. Everyone remembers everything. It's just that they don't want to think about it. Sometimes a boon, sometimes a bane.

My colorful childhood. It had everything to it. All the attention i needed. All the required quantities of fun, tears and before i forget chocolates. I remember this one time that my uncle took me out for a day of fun. I ate so much that day that i think it's the reason i have eating disorders till date.(Just kidding!!!). I remember my first trip to the beach and how scared i was of even getting my feet wet. I stood about 20 feet away from the shore making sure the water would always come close but never touch. And i also remember having that weird feeling of having cheated the sea of its intention to get me wet. My first achievement!!!. I remember the first game i ever played. It was football. I remember my blue tri-cycle and my ever favorite blue dress.( Yeah!! even as a kid i knew how to co-ordinate color). I remember searching for my sister with my cap turned around blinding me. I remember losing my toothpaste shaped pencil box at school while i was transferring. I remember the first ever friend i made at nursery. Her name's Supriya. I remember the letters i wrote to my grandmother. Then i remember transferring myself to this city. I remember meeting my sister after a gap of 6 years. I remember the day my dad brought home a movie audio casette.(This is a memory because we never used to have those things at home).

Then that phase passed out. I turned 10. Remember learning how to ride a cycle without the balance wheels all on my own. I did it out of competetion coz my borther, who was younger, was better at it. I learnt it in 2 hours. Another achievement!!! Then Remember the Holi we played in my 7th class... Was a warzone. Though we just played with water, everyone wanted to drench everyone but never get wet themselves. I remember the results in 7th. Best time of my life. I remember the award function and how it rained that day. I remember how my school principal treated me to chocolates. I had made everyone proud. Another achievement!!! But i later realised what cost i had to pay. I was labelled arrogant and egoistic. And i changed myself to be that way from then. Had really good friends at school. The best ones i ever made are from my school days. Then came intermediate. Isolated myself from the real world and kept myself busy with books for about 18 hours a day.

And that payed off too. I made it to a good Engineering college. Have been here for three years. Another year and this too will be a distant memory probably about which i will be writing when i turn 30. I have made good friends here too. Everything that comes, goes. So i guess that will happen to these people too. I will become a distant memory for them and they will become so for me.

I wont say life has been unfair to me and all that. I didnt make time to keep up on relations outside my family. It's my fault. But i have learnt a lot from the relations i have maintained all this years. The first and most important being that your family will love you even on the days you wont believe in your own self. They accept you as you are, good or bad. A few friends do that too. And if u find them, then you are the luckiest person. I could have bothered to keep up with the first ever friend i made. But life kept me moving on and i have no regrets after reaching this far. And in my future journey, history may repeat itself. But when i write about it again, i wont have any regrets whatsoever. People come and go. You need to change as Life changes, but keeping in mind that u still keep your own identity.

Rule Of Life: Always clean your closet because everything should go, except you.

Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Zindagi-Train

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  1. 1. By cartman  |  8 May 2007, 11:33pm

    am the first to comment, happy b'day :) well written...really a feel-good color-full childhood depiction.
    on the flip side, just wanna say tht regret is something u live with, not by blocking it out but by accepting that there was road, a path which we could have taken but dint.

  2. 2. By Sundeepta  |  9 May 2007, 2:55am

    i know u r full of achievemdnts...i have a clarification to make...u learnt how to ride a cycle when we were tenants at Sasikala's. And the cycle we had at that time was gent's cycle given by babu mavayya...a huuuuuge one...somebady had to hold u...if not u atleast the try hard n remember who it was!!!...dont try too hard i'l let u know wen we talk the nxt time...wishing dat u add many more achievements to u'r kitty...
    u'r sis

  3. 3. By gopal  |  11 Jun 2007, 2:57pm

    happy birthday, my friend !!!

  4. 4. By Script Writer  |  14 Jun 2007, 7:36pm

    Good going. I don't even remember the last time a post captivated me enough to read it completely.

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