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Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 21 June 2008, 12:18pm

Abi: So what did you do today while I was at work?
Same Old Random Chick: I lounged by the pool and I watched TV and I played video games.
Abi: Rough life.
Same Old Random Chick: We should go out to dinner.
 
I love it when readers give me suggestions for column topics because it means that I don’t have to think that much. I’m not very good at anything that requires intelligence, so avoiding thinking is a major part of what I do with my spare time (while drinking). In response to my column sometime ago, a reader nick-named "Sunshine" told me that he/she thinks that life is easier for men (has to be a "she", so referring "him/her" as "she" from hereon), and that I should write a column illustrating how life is not easier for men than it is for women.

Now, I’ve never met sunshine (literally and figuratively, as I am an obscenely late riser) and I don’t know her, but I’m still taking her suggestion because (and this is important) she saved me the pain and suffering of having to come up with my own column topic. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is priceless. Anyways; enough of foreplay, Get out your knives and forks, and dig into the meat and potatoes of this Sunshine-inspired literary dish. You may thank her later; I’ll do it now. Thanks, Sunshine.

Only one aspect of life is harder for you women: the physical. Yes, you are weaker and are often raped and beaten as a result. Yes, you go through periods every month. Yes, you are more hormonal than men. And yes, I am tired of hearing you bitch about this. Girls, seriously, we get it. You bleed every month. We know because you make a huge deal out of it, and we have to hear about it over and over again. I’m sorry God did that to you, but seriously, your physical makeup aside, you have life much easier than men. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

Men Must Work:

Part of being a man is growing up with the knowledge that you will have to work your whole life. As a man, we know that no matter what, the world will require us to make money and provide for others. This is responsibility. This is pressure. Now, it is true that many women do work and that some of them even have to work because of fiscal situations or whatever, but the bottom line is that for most women, working is a choice. In this regard, women have options; men have responsibility. Or, as my girl friend (two words to be read separately) used to say, “You should buy me more stuff.”

You Can Have Kids:

I love my mom. I’d do about anything for her. We have a bond. My Dad? I mean he’s great and all, and I also love him, but if a mysterious force made me choose between parents, there’s no way that the guy who taught me how to play tennis, drive karts around and drink beer would take precedence over the woman who nurtured me. In most cases, children bond with their mothers and get beaten up by their fathers. And I tell you, I’m really looking forward to having a kid who doesn’t listen to me and treats me like an ATM. It’ll be like having a girlfriend; without the sex.

You Can Manipulate the Opposite Sex:

You know how many speeding tickets, parking tickets and late payments I’ve gotten out of because I cried? That’s right - Zero. You know how many times I got great grades for sexually satisfying a teacher. That’s right, three times. But she was really hot and I probably would have passed gracefully without her help. Anyway, my point here is that chicks can get whatever they want (pretty much) just by being hot or by crying. If I could get a dime with my body or my tears, I would. But No; I’m a guy so I have to use my brains; which basically screws me because I’m stupid by birth.

Women get to have children, avoid a life of working, and use their bodies to get pretty much whatever they want from stupid men. Yes, physically they have it tougher than men for the most part, but in almost every other respect of life, they have it easier.

For all those who think I'm not-a-penny-worth-male-chauvinist-pig, I promise I'll write a piece about how life is harder for women as soon as Richard Branson completes his "Man to moon" project and the whole of humanity moves into Moon.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to work.



Current Mood: Game for a Beer
Current Music: Dil Haara Re...

Posted in Personal | Next | Previous | Comments (13) | Trackbacks (0)

Comments

  1. 1. i agree.
    By Same Old Random Chick  |  24 Jun 2008, 12:00am

    I agree with the I’m-stupid-by-birth part.


  2. 2. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By different random chick  |  24 Jun 2008, 11:00am

    Your forgot multiple orgasms.


  3. 3. To same old random chick
    By S-A-D (not really)  |  24 Jun 2008, 4:33pm

    Focus dear... Focus!!!


  4. 4. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By Aran  |  27 Jun 2008, 7:41am

    Yes. I was here to hit you on the head with multiple orgasms. Not literally of course.


  5. 5. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By unknown  |  27 Jun 2008, 9:41am

    Hate to admit the truth. Good read though.


  6. 6. Aran?
    By S-A-D (not really)  |  27 Jun 2008, 1:30pm

    That wouldn't be as pleasant as it may sound at the outset; I guess...

    Glad to know that you still exist!!!


  7. 7. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By SWATI  |  28 Jun 2008, 6:12pm

    TCH TCH.. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT WE ARE REBORN AS WHO WE MAKE FUN OF...


  8. 8. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By SWATI  |  28 Jun 2008, 6:13pm

    ...SO HAPPY HANDLING OF YOUR PERIODS :)


  9. 9. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By Aran (not dodo)  |  1 Jul 2008, 9:06pm

    You're right. It isn't.

    And why would you think I don't exist anymore? Did I talk of life threatening diseases or luck that would make me susceptible to dying in unfortunate accidents or something? :)


  10. 10. Re: Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By S-A-D (not really)  |  2 Jul 2008, 9:36am

    Oh!

    I was jus concerned about you driving into bigger inanimate objects creating havoc!!!

    I'm glad dat didn't happen!


  11. 11. Life Ain't Easy for Men... Sigh!!!
    By princess  |  23 Aug 2008, 8:34pm

    long time no stuff from u!! its good to read what u write ...... says a lot of ur personality


  12. 12. to princess
    By Stand Alone Dreamer  |  23 Aug 2008, 10:36pm

    Does this comment contradict or support the comment that u made in another post?

    And Thanks for the good words-


  13. 13. to princess
    By Stand Alone Dreamer  |  23 Aug 2008, 10:59pm

    BTW-

    I don't quite agree to the personality reflection part... You should read Mein Kampf!!


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