What is it with smokers?

1. Honour: Every smoker I know, no matter how miserly, has never refused a fag or a light to a fellow being in need. It is like there is an unwritten code - thou shalt always share the death stick. It could be a stranger who speaks ancient Hebrew for all you know. But when she has to borrow a stick, it is as if they all speak some universal language. An act as simple as sharing a cigarette could lead to a BFF scenario.

2. Bonding: Male bonding is over-hyped when you compare it with the nicotine bond. It forges ties stronger than those that motherhood does. Make no mistake, I will probably never know what it is like to be a mother mostly because I am a man - I am simply going by what the advertisements project motherhood to be. It could be anywhere - airport smoking areas, office galleries, homes, pubs, streets, open fields, toilets, or even shady back alleys - once a butt is lit you can rest assured the backslapping will ensue.

3. Whining: Then they whine! Really, they whine. Yes, we all whine. It is just that smokers take it to a whole new level. What makes it particularly unbearable is that they whine solely about one thing - not being able to quit. Sadly, we seem to have given them a licence to do that since we all tend to think it takes superhuman resolve to quit the habit. Jeez! I know people who have smoked 50-60 cigarettes a day for 25 straight years, and they have quit. They were smokers. A day later not a single fag. Just like that - on and then off.

4. Defensiveness: They know they are going to die young. But they make it sound romantic, almost like Jon Bon Jovi does in Blaze of Glory, "You ask about my conscience, and I offer you my soul. You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man, well I ask if I'll grow old." What they do not know is that unlike Jovi who talks of a painless death by the gun, these guys are probably going to be breathing out of ventilators in a few years time.

I could go on about this. But I won't for two reasons. One, I have used up my thinking time for the day. Two, I have done my, as Aran said once, four reasonably sized paragraphs.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Aerosmith - Dream On