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I think, I know, What I'm doing!!!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 23 November 2008, 2:10pm

Abi: They tell me that perfection is unattainable, so tell me Ms. Perfect, is that true?
Random Chick: That is the sweetest, most full of shit, pick-up line I have ever heard.
Abi: Thanks… umm, Right?
Random Chick: Wrong.
 
That’s how I can sum up pretty much everything that I’ve done pretty much every day since I’ve had days to sum up and stuff to do.

I think, I know, what I’m doing!!

I’m not sure I know what I’m doing. And sometimes I don’t even know what I’m doing. But I’m doing something and I think I usually know what it is.

Right now I’m writing. Nothing makes you feel more like you don’t know what you’re doing than writing does. No matter how many times I do it, using the same old 26 letters, ten numbers, and ten pieces of punctuation as the rest of the English speaking world, just to make a point or tell a story, it always humbles me. But I think I know what I’m doing so I trudge the sludge of my own mind and then hope for the best.

They say perfect practice makes for perfect play, but even half-assed stupid practices will improve your play, if you play and practice enough.

Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this. I promise!!

You see, perfection is, for the most part, impossible and unattainable. Few things can be perfect. A diamond can be flawless but never perfect. An Aamir Khan movie, a Girl-friend, a Lunch or a Dinner, a Formula-one season, they can all be awesome, the best so far, but they can never be perfect. An Aussie test team could have an undefeated season, but none of it is truly perfect or they’d have never let the opposing team score a single run or take a single wicket. A batsman can have a perfect outing but a perfect innings is just a way of saying that he hit a hundred not out to save the game or win it for his side. But a truly perfect inning would involve hitting all the balls he faced for a six. That won’t happen. We strive to be perfect but we never will be. Because, as my friend's Dad used to say, “There’s always somebody bigger, better, meaner and stronger. And if they ain’t around yet, they will be soon.”

And that is kind of a sad fact of life, but only in the respect that our ultimate goals and perfect dreams are out of our range. In another way, it is good that true perfection is unattainable, because the lack of attainable perfection allows us, as people, the right to keep trying to be better at everything that we do, knowing that we can always improve.

We can always be better writers, athletes, drinkers and lovers. We can always strive to amend our talents and abridge our shortcomings. We have that right forever. And in this way, we’ll always be able to surprise ourselves.

After I realized that perfection was unattainable, I thought on and off for about five years, about what that really means when applied to everyday life, and I realized something.

I realized that at no time do I actually know what I’m doing. Because if I truly knew any one thing, I would be better than it. And hell, I don’t even know myself that well. And that’s why I have a new mantra: I think, I know, what I’m doing.

From now on, when people ask me whether I know how to play badminton or Table tennis, Fly an airplane, Write, Drink, Dance or Fool-around , I'll just answer with, “I think I know how”

Because really that’s all we have in life!!!

We have a chance to think and feel things. And sometimes we either feel or think as if we know. But we don’t know that we know, because knowing excludes other possibilities. And excluding possibilities means denying improvement, which is infinitely possible because perfection is unattainable.

At least, that’s what I think I know.

So what does this mangle of confusing sentences I called a post really mean?

“What’s the moral?” you ask.

“Where’s my fucking closure, Abi?” you ask rather rudely.

It’s nowhere to be found.

And that, in my humble opinion, is a part of what makes life awesome. Life’s not ours to dance through with thoughts of ownership, but to revere and experience, to taste and feel, until there’s nothing left.

And then, when there is nothing left, well then maybe we’ll really, actually know something.

But I doubt it.

Here’s to hoping I can think I know that all of you are out there in internet land thinking you know you feel great.

But again, I doubt it!



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Wear the Sunscreen - Baz Luhrmann

Posted in Writing | Next | Previous | Comments (5) | Trackbacks (0)

Comments

  1. 1. Re:
    By diva  |  24 Nov 2008, 4:51pm

    Good read, complex thoughts.. yet, I am sure you may have point!


  2. 2. Re: I think, I know, What I'm doing!!!
    By the cuckoo  |  25 Nov 2008, 11:28am

    one flew over the cuckoo's head


  3. 3. uhhh
    By Head In The Clouds  |  18 Dec 2008, 10:26pm

    I think I know what you're talking about, and I think I got it.


  4. 4. To Cuckoo
    By Stand-Alone Dreamer  |  17 Jan 2009, 2:28pm

    :-)

    Event I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.

    But do you think it is necessary to understand things in order to write about or argue about them these days? :-)


  5. 5. My head hurts...I need a drink!
    By G  |  1 Feb 2009, 10:58pm

    You are right SAD! And thats the only sane thing you have said this time...


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