16 Sep 2009
Walking in Darkness
Yesterday.
He wanted to know how she is. Hurriedly, he mailed. To ask how she is, to tell her that he will always stand by her. He looked at the monitor; he saw her face. She was in front of him, he felt. He was talking to her, tenderly holding her hand. Wanted to hear her words. One word, at least. One smile. He would ask no more questions, speak no more words to hurt her more; he just wanted to see her smile. Expectantly, he clicked "send".
Instantly, he received a mail delivery notification. The email account does not exist, it said. When life mocks and luck betrays, the unfortunate one stands no chance. Disbelief took over. He knew it was going to happen, for she had told him. And he also knew why she had. Yet, yet he refused to accept. He sent the mail again. With the same result. He sent it again. And again. And again. It had no loophole. There was no furtive path open for his words to reach her. No generous messenger, no instant messenger, no messenger. If only he could hug her once, he thought. But melancholy was all that held him in its cold embrace. Holding so tight that it was almost choking.
In the bitterest moments of life, the only music that plays is the pulsating beat of one's heart fueled by the rending pain. A line from Coetzee's Disgrace that occurred to him a few days ago when she took the train, occured to him again: "A day like any other day, clear skies, a mild sun, yet suddenly everything is changed, utterly changed!"
It was a city of millions. Yet he felt utterly lonely.
Today.
He sends the mail again. The result is no different. He wants to see her. Her smile. He wants to look in her eyes. Once. A walk in the darkness, life has become. It's a city of millions. And he feels utterly lonely.
Comments (8) Trackbacks (0) Permalink
By vj:
24 Sep 2009, 2:46pm [ Reply ]
@blvd: thanks, blvd. happy dussehra to you, too. am ok... have a wonderful time and a great festival
By blvd:
24 Sep 2009, 1:43pm [ Reply ]
how r u vj? happy dushera in advance... have a nice time...
By Visit Hallucinating Sapience : World of words
18 Sep 2009, 2:44pm [ Reply ]
WORDS OF THE SOUL. WORDS OF LOVE, WORDS OF TRANCE, WORDS OF FRIENDSHIP, WORDS OF LIFE!!
Visit Hallucinating Sapience
By nonu:
17 Sep 2009, 1:49pm [ Reply ]
@b'lvd: mira is not real; it's only a film. life, as u know, is infinitely testing. i know how testing it was for u and the tough decisions u have made and stood by. that demands utmost courage, deep sensibility and absolute honesty. u r courageous, sensible and honest. absolutely, b'lvd. yes. u r perfect as u r. forget mira, forget the flick, forget the cryley. just smiiiiile, precious.
By blvd:
17 Sep 2009, 1:12pm [ Reply ]
got a chance to see love aaj kal a few days ago. knew why u liked it, the endin esp, nonu ... 'twas a lil 2 emotionaly strainn 4 me, like it has been in real life too... am not like mira - courageous, sensible abt priorities, and honest abt life.. can perhaps nevr b like her... :(
By nonu:
17 Sep 2009, 10:13am [ Reply ]
@b'lvd: sure b'lvd, will not worry, will not mail, and will be ok. promise. ya, i understand, b'lvd. great to know u r fine. have a great day!
By b'lvd:
16 Sep 2009, 6:47pm [ Reply ]
n like i said u'l know how i am, i'l make sure u'l always know... so pl stop worryn n stop mailn, pleaseeee... try n understand, nonu
By b'lvd:
16 Sep 2009, 6:43pm [ Reply ]
nonu, pl b ok... please...
u promisd. n am ok, ya, pl dont worry...