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17 Feb 2010

Title Matters Not

Posted by Oblivion in El Eye Ef Ee | 2:03pm

Things must go wrong with him. There's no other way. All he gets is to chat with her, and then it all hangs at the mercy of the connection. And it goes bust at a most decisive moment.

It shows her offline. His messages don't reach her. He stares at the screen helplessly. She signs back in. Wasting no moment, he types... clicks send. And he sends more messages...

xxxx (her name)
xxxx. pls talk
am sorry, i ws upset...
wanted to write u... obviously can't be a blog post... when u suggested i put it on blog, i was upset... am sorry, xxxx
pls talk'
i am sorry. plssss talk
Not connected - [xxxx. i'm sorry, xxxx. pls talk]

Now he realises that he is offline! He quickly ups the connection. But he's a tad too late. She has gone offline!

Bad things happen in threes, according to probability. With him, though, they happen in hundreds, continuously, and with infallible precision. When even the most bitter cynicism fails, one starts laughing at himself.

While at it, a nice quote (about bad luck): "It floats around. Has to land on somebody. Say a storm comes through. Some folks sit in their living rooms and enjoy the rain. The house next door gets torn out of the ground and smashed flat. It was my turn, that's all."

10 Comments | "Title Matters Not" »

  1. By vj:

    24 Feb 2010, 12:25pm [ Reply ]

    @best friend: yes, it really is over. i meant it.

    keep smiling.

  2. By ur best friend:

    23 Feb 2010, 2:43pm [ Reply ]

    hope dey arent just words n u mean EACH n EVERY bit of it all... it'd make me (n all ur family n friends, am sure) most happy... wid all o us around u n wid u, am sure it aint so bad, right! so b true to ur words n just b ok, u arent done wid the world n the world certainly isnt givin up on u, so just cheer up n try n do something that makes u cheerful n happy vj... bestest wishes for a new start. now smile. pls. take care. "tu muskura..."

  3. By vj:

    20 Feb 2010, 12:34am [ Reply ]

    @a friend: i never thought u didn't do anything for me. i never did. i don't think that even now, either. am not trying to sound mushy, but i wouldn't think that even at gunpoint. i never thought in those terms. i never will. when i said "there's nothing you can do" i just reiterated your words when you wondered what you could possibly do when i deliberately choose to remain stuck. i'm sorry i didn't explain it clearly. and there's of course no denying what you said. you are quite right.

    you said you are always there. that does for me. yes. quite.

    as i said, there shall be no depressing stuff anymore. it's over. yes. i'm sorry i wasn't any better. it's over.

    keep smiling, dear one.

  4. By vj:

    20 Feb 2010, 12:28am [ Reply ]

    @PM-o-W: I appreciate the way you look at it. Yes, I remained stuck and went the entire distance. It ends now.

    Thanks! Have a great day!

  5. By a friend:

    19 Feb 2010, 10:07am [ Reply ]

    @ PMOW - he's been long soaking in this misery for a real real long time... since ages. i feel bad he has accepted it all as his fate and it is this acceptance that is making him so despondent... what makes me angry is he won't pick himself up, he won't look at anything else in life that might be nice and make him happy... we all have lives that are part miserable and part happy... sometimes when we are down, it is natural to feel so depressed that we often think that's the only way to be... anything else, any positivity talk from anyone, any positive situations - all seem like crap... but one eventually comes out of the depression, but only with effort, by taking up and doing something we really like perhaps, or being with people we like and love, friends n family, (there are various ways to get out of depression)... i have been der and now am trying to get out of it too, but i am tryn to get de-addicted to depression too... one has to be balanced... he needs to get out of it, not indulge in it anymore!!!

    @ vj - i can only hope u understand where i am coming from. i know it;s not easy... u know how depressing it all was for me too, but am at least trying to get out of it... may be i lost my creativity on this road to recovery, but then it's not a big deal for me. i am trying to take life one day at a time, trying to be with people i love, doing things i like... nobody on this earth is totally blessed, we don't get everything we ask for and need... i dont have what i love most, yet am gald i have what i got - friends like u, family like i hve now, and countless other things am blessed with... i know what i say might sound like crap to u right now, u probably think am selfish and not doing anything for u... how can u think i didnt and cant do anything for u? i am trying but it;s like hitting a wall... and i can now only say am always der for u. hope u wil b fine n sometime in future when u r actually normal/happy, u'l look back n see n understand my perpspective! until then take care.

  6. By Portuguese Man-of-War:

    19 Feb 2010, 9:46am [ Reply ]

    Trying to help ourselves out of misery is sometimes much tougher than living in it.

    I try to think of myself running very, very fast, and wanting to stop but unable to. There is a wall perpendicular to the route I am running in, unending on either ways.

    The one way to stop is hurling myself into the wall. Painful, but it ends relatively quickly. The other way is to swerve and run parallel to the wall to avoid that one-time injury.

    The former action is acceptance, and the latter is denial. Denial is an escape route in which I will eventually be healed by time (I will run and run and run and soon sheer fatigue will make me slowly stop, or some other sights and smells along the way will make me start to run in another direction).

    Probably a loose metaphor. Anyway, I do not judge acceptance and denial. Several times, denial is a much better healer than acceptance - acceptance can kill some people (all those cases of suicide), while denial puts them in constant suffering for a long time, but tolerable levels of suffering.

    And the best creative and perspective comes in utter suffering. Whoever you are, mate, indulge that part of yourself anyway.

  7. By vj:

    19 Feb 2010, 12:17am [ Reply ]

    @a friend: i'm sorry i came across as incorrigibly despondent. you are right - there's nothing you can do. pls don't feel awful. no cryley, pls.

    no depressing words anymore. it ends. yes.

    there's something you can do - bring back the smiley. keep smiling. be happy.

  8. By a friend:

    18 Feb 2010, 6:54pm [ Reply ]

    n ya am angry, n u wantd to know why - it's coz despite telling you n encouraging you to (all these days n months n over all of last year), u don't even try to do anything to get urself out of this whole awful depression, and how does one help someone who doesnt want to help themselves... how does one put u outa misery when u don't want to be put out of it... u might think this is crazy n selfish on my part that i took ur shoulder to lean upon in my hard times n wudnt do the same for u, but how can u not see that at least u were able to help out coz i was willing to get help, and no matter how hard i try, u don't seem to accept any help to try to come out of this misery... in all of this world how and what can i really do? what should i really do? how how how can i help? is there a way? : (

  9. By a friend:

    18 Feb 2010, 5:06pm [ Reply ]

    For god'ssakes plz stop talkn like a victim and feeling like one! u keep landing bad luck probably coz u invite it and attract it so much by being friends with it, by thinking abt it all the time and believing u are its puppet or something! pl get out of the slump, and all the negativity you have immersed yourself in. Feel awful that u feel n talk like this. u r more stronger than this, so stop behaving so weak coz it's really pathetic...

  10. By xxxx:

    18 Feb 2010, 2:49pm [ Reply ]

    : (

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