5th July 2004

aloque | 06/07/2004, 09:21 hrs

I really like helping people confront their fears. Being strong for someone else is easier than being strong for myself, and doing that in turn has always helped me be stronger when dealing with my own issues. There is a high in getting someone to get over the fears they thought they couldn't. Just as there is in facing up to my own shortcomings.

This day has been about that. This is the first I have felt comfortable about having taken Aloque off the public blogs. This is the first that I have seen myself for what I was, and felt strong enough to deal with it.

This is something I wrote about 8 years ago, but it has helped me each time I was afraid. Just put things into perspective...


I could feel the creepy chill

run up and down my spine

as I stood at the doorway to hell

the weakness of my mind.



He stood there in silent coldness,

face covered in mystic hood

and a silvery scythe in hand.

I ached to see beyond the darkness

but I saw only what he would

let my senses assess.


Life breaker, soul taker

devil's lover, great leveller,

Grim reaper.


Stepping back, ruled by fear,

I saw him grow in awesome stature

and I closed my eyes in desperation

to avoid the unbearable apparition,

as I waited for his scythe

to make that final strike.


The last bit of courage in

my surrendering soul

rebelled against instinct

and grew wings of its own,

coaxing me to open my eyes

take a deep breath, face that device.

Teling me it wasn't Death,

just my fear in all its depth.


I took a hesitant step forward,

watched his hood fly,

as he faltered

and I saw fear in unexpecting eyes.


Those small wings grew some more,

I felt courage begin to soar,

as I ran screaming towards my fear,

and laughed as he disappeared.

Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: none

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Responses to 5th July 2004

  1. That was quite something! Good something. Very good somthing in fact.

  2. OK, that last comment was me at my weird best, but well, I really liked the writing. :)

    This comment is to say that the last one was not meant as a mocking thing though (I just realised) it might be taken that way. I lose it quite frequently, in case you've been noticing...

  3. got it the first time!

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