I really like helping people confront their fears. Being strong for someone else is easier than being strong for myself, and doing that in turn has always helped me be stronger when dealing with my own issues. There is a high in getting someone to get over the fears they thought they couldn't. Just as there is in facing up to my own shortcomings.
This day has been about that. This is the first I have felt comfortable about having taken Aloque off the public blogs. This is the first that I have seen myself for what I was, and felt strong enough to deal with it.
This is something I wrote about 8 years ago, but it has helped me each time I was afraid. Just put things into perspective...
I could feel the creepy chill
run up and down my spine
as I stood at the doorway to hell
the weakness of my mind.
He stood there in silent coldness,
face covered in mystic hood
and a silvery scythe in hand.
I ached to see beyond the darkness
but I saw only what he would
let my senses assess.
Life breaker, soul taker
devil's lover, great leveller,
Grim reaper.
Stepping back, ruled by fear,
I saw him grow in awesome stature
and I closed my eyes in desperation
to avoid the unbearable apparition,
as I waited for his scythe
to make that final strike.
The last bit of courage in
my surrendering soul
rebelled against instinct
and grew wings of its own,
coaxing me to open my eyes
take a deep breath, face that device.
Teling me it wasn't Death,
just my fear in all its depth.
I took a hesitant step forward,
watched his hood fly,
as he faltered
and I saw fear in unexpecting eyes.
Those small wings grew some more,
I felt courage begin to soar,
as I ran screaming towards my fear,
and laughed as he disappeared.
That was quite something! Good something. Very good somthing in fact.
OK, that last comment was me at my weird best, but well, I really liked the writing. :)
This comment is to say that the last one was not meant as a mocking thing though (I just realised) it might be taken that way. I lose it quite frequently, in case you've been noticing...
got it the first time!