6th July 2004

aloque | 06/07/2004, 13:20 hrs

Someone asked me if writing for an audience is bad. Well, not really. Many people make a good living off that. There are also many people that try to do that their entire life, unsuccessfully. Yet their regret remains that they weren't appreciated and not that they did not make enough money. There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing for an audience. But, there is something wrong in imposing expectations on the audience. Then there are bound to be disappointments. There are bound to be compromises in my own work. In an ideal world writing and appreciation should remain separate things, with appreciation following the writing, and the appreciatio should then be only a confirmation of self worth and not a definition of it. I mean, I cannot think of myself differently every time I post and receive comments that I like or do not.

That begs the question, who then is the audience that I want to impress? Is it FA, queen of the charts, who will not comment unless she can start off a witty repartee or make the comments a debate? Is it PMoW who has decided to form his opinions and stick to them at too early an age? Is it sweet Aran, who has nothing to say if it is not nice? Is it AR who says nothing at all in his morbid style most of the time? Is it DRP, whose brashness is inadequate cover for a mind that is capable of thought? Is it Mr. N who is a better writer than his endless conversations with the FH team might lead anyone to think? Is it the Princess, who I idolise as someone who follows her heart? Is it for the hundreds of others who read me but were uninspired to say anything at all? Is it me, bereft of any self esteem, not knowing what to think of what I wrote unless someone else tells me? Once that train of thought has left the station, the answer becomes a foregone conclusion. It has to be me. Now is the hard part. Writing and not caring about the consequences. It will happen sooner rather than later.

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: none

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Responses to 6th July 2004

  1. Everything i wanted to say and was torturing myself with. Thank you.
    And if i had written this myself, i would keep all the references to d audience the same, save for - "For Aloque, who seems so sure of everything he stands for, making me feel unsure about myself just by being himself".
    And The princess, for shaking me awake.
    The sooner has already arrived.

  2. and what's with this continous fascination with my comments or the lack thereof?... and no, for godsake!, i am not starting any debate nor am trying to be witty. highly miffed.

  3. worri nee amma....enti raa annavu naa gurinchi? edho full hi-fi language use chesnavuraa!! :D
    **sees the light and bows down to the maastah**^:)^

    now,how soon are we talkin' bout here?

  4. You guys read me anyway, so I guess I haven't gone anywhere for you all.
    And good for you, angel.

  5. this has to be your most perceptive blog yet (most profound one still remains tungakshun TUNGAKSHUN.lol). this whole going private thing definitely agrees with you. so how does it feel, like dylan once enquired of ex-public bloggers, to be on your own? like a complete unknown? no direction home

  6. All your old regulars still commenting here. It isn't that different, is it? We all can access your blog and the others who read it didn't comment anyway. :D

    Anyway, whatever suits you. I quite liked seeing you there though. :)

    btw, 'sweet'??? *blush* ...mumbling to myself to cultivate a more tough image here.

  7. but it IS different, isn't it. and difficult. one of the things i've always liked about your writing is the honesty in it. it's stark, wrenching, almost uncomfortable. great blog, darling. not that you need me to tell you that.

  8. very different. and really glad to know that you all thought it worth the effort to say what you did.

  9. princess, it makes a difference.
    and i am quite liking the darling status. ;-)

  10. ok, first things first...NOBODY rips off MY 'wori nee amma'. It's just not done. It isn't. No.
    Next, great post. Seems you have talents other than getting dhishkaaoned at snooker. :-)
    Third, thank you, for calling me a writer. I shall return the insult when appropriate.
    Last, I agree with cp - 'tungakshun' was the too-maach-est word I have ever read.
    Afterlast, I need a drink.

  11. wori nee amma!!
    put me on ur links GODDAMIT!!!

  12. woraaaaiii!!! drp!!

  13. so, to put an end to the worai issue, neuro said it first.
    he also said wori nee amma and i can only beat aloque at snooker when he is drunk.

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