The "moods" I'm referring to are the variety of condoms. Now when Mad-Eye Moody used a rubber for the first time in his limited sex life....

Ok, that was just a shitty opening line to get you in here. I'm typing this right after someone significant logged offa yahoo msg'er. And I miss them already. Not that we talked 'bout things substantial, but ah well. Ever been in a situation while you're talking to someone, you hang up..and u start to miss 'em right then and there? It gets worse. Talking volumes to someone and enjoying beautifully monosyllablic replies. Talking, talking and talking in the hope that somehow that invisible wall between the both of you would crumble and the conversation would flow as seamlessly as it used to. Wishing, wishing and wishing that those times would return. Every meaningful conversation (though few n far between) seeming like the breath of air you gulp right at the last minute to save yourself from drowning in the flood of silence. And then you start to drown again. No wait, this was a while ago. I'm writing this here and now not only because things aren't totally back to how they were,(I dont think they'll ever be) but because I've realised that it was mostly (mostly) all my doing.

Remember that scene in DCH? Akshay Khanna and the sand? It was nice, really nice. I learnt a bit from that, it was not like I was gripping tightly onto sand which was just begging to be let go. I realised that I was holding onto something which had gone, I was dangling from a rope which had been untied at the other end...and I was falling. Somewhere in the past 2 months, I realised this and I finally crashed. It felt good. I had made mistakes, major ones. I had made vague assumptions and stuck to them, all the while making it worse. Things are better now, faar better. I'm a saner human being now, for myself and to others. Someone else is better off too, I hope.... :D

And now, I'm done with talking 'bout vague things on my blog. Sorry you had to go through that. The point of this post was to talk about how much my mood and my general state of mind reflects onto this blog. Man, I'm loving it here. I also realised that coming here with a pre-determined mindset to type something ain't helping...I just gotta get here and let it flow.

Damn, I wish I could say this shit the way stupendousman does everyday. But then that must be a pretty darn gloomy place to be, his mind I mean. Is it ,SM? Jus a thought.

Reality keeps ruining my life.

Payne.

 

PS : Its been a great year. Kinda speechless right now.


 



Current Mood: Lovestruck
Current Music: Some darn dog barking outside and silence.