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The Train Chronicles Part – II

krishnaveni | 6 June 2010, 8:29pm

 

 

 

Last time I hadwritten down the journey that taught me that I have a choice. A choice, to seethings with a brand new hope and also a chance, to retain the faith that I sobadly wanted to lose. Well, this journeycomes long after the one I mentioned before. So here it goes. 

 

This time aroundtoo, I was travelling alone. This time, I didn’t have my mom around to beworried. Somehow, I strongly believe that all mothers are trained to beperpetually worried about their kids, no matter what the kid’s age. And when Iask my mom if she would ever treat me like a grown-up, well, every one of usknows the answer to that, never! Ican’t argue with her though. Luckily, this time I was travelling to Hyderabad. 

I reached thestation more than an hour early, something that I learnt from my father. It isalways best to be as early as possible, better to be an hour early and good tobe on time. I used to love being early to the railway station as a kid. Thereason being that it always gave us (me, my sister and my brother) enough timeto look at all the vendors on the platform and decide who wanted what. And it was amazing to tremble, and I trembled every single timeuntil I was thirteen, whenever the trains pulled in or out of the platforms.And I guess, the reason I enjoyed being early was because I always had company,my entire family. So you can pretty much guess by now at how bored I was atbeing alone. It took me fifteen minutes, because I deliberately dragged my feetso that it was long enough, to examine every single food stall, cart and bookstand on my platform. Then in about another ten minutes, I walked thrice to the reservation chart, first checking for my name and seat. Second time, I checkedthe names of the people who would be sharing my compartment, knowing veryclearly that it hardly mattered. The third time, I checked if all the 72 seatswere occupied and made a general conclusion of the age groups that I mightencounter during my journey. After playing Sherlock Holmes with my reservationchart, I grew bored. I kept praying that the doors to the coach would springopen suddenly. I told myself that I wouldn’t mind sitting all alone in my seateven as they cleaned the coach. If I could hold my breath for a solid twentyminutes, I should be fine. Despite these assurances, my body refused and itkept telling me that I couldn’t definitely sustain two minutes while theycleaned, twenty would mean that I would have already been six feet under. AfterI agreed with what it had to say, and after I was thankful that they didn’tactually hear my plea and let me in, I looked out for something more to do. Ihad about half hour before they would open the coach. As I found nothing interesting to read, I decided I would find something interesting to look at and observe. I somehow, always, end up doing this no matter where I am. 

So once it wasdecided, I started scanning the entire platform carefully. There were a lot oftechies (This is the term used to describe people who study hard to end uplosing their life to a computer and someone who will always tell them what todo, always tell them that there is always a better way to do something that youhave done best and most importantly, always tell them how bad they did whatthey did and that a monkey would do better for a banana) on the platform. Inabout five minutes, I could figure out that all of us (the techies) were thesame. We don’t think twice, unless it is regarding leave. We buy what seems appealing. And we never fully read any magazine, we just skim through. And wenever feel complete unless the phone’s ringing or we have some access to theinternet. If you notice carefully, you can see every techie in total discomfortif they are given free time and no internet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, I wasamazed, at how suddenly in fact, that I realised that I missed someone comingand seeing me off. Though I still maintain that I am slightly uneasy when mymom comes to see me off, I horribly missed her this time. And out of thisfeeling, I called almost all my friends in Bangalore and made it a point totell them that I was leaving. I don’t know if anyone could figure out why Icalled them, but I felt better.  And inthe time left, I watched the crowd again. I saw kids running haywire as parentstried to manage them and the luggage. I watched as parents came to drop theirkids off and vice versa. Once the doors opened, I watched as everyone rushedin. I waited till most of them managed to get in and then I walked in, found myseat and settled down. But the thought, that it would have been better ifsomeone came to see me off had still not left me. I guess it was so because Ihave gotten used to mom dropping me off, or because I had then seen a lot ofpeople coming by to drop their dear ones.

What I realisedlater was that this feeling could’ve been instigated by the fact that someone Iknew had enquired about this particular journey of mine. And though I decidedthat I would think not much of it, I guess I could not help thinking. And itwas my disappointment that I couldn’t find him at the station, in the mostcinematic way that brings in surprise, that I was probably hoping someone wouldsee me off. As soon as I realised this, I kept looking out for him, trying tofool myself that I actually was just casually glancing. I was smiling at mystupidity, my fanciful thoughts, when I saw him outside the window, goingtowards the chart to figure out where I would be. And almost naturally, Ibecame my generally uptight self. I decided that whatever it might be, hewouldn’t know that I was hoping he would come. Once he came in, I acted as though it didn’t mean much. It almost comesnaturally to me to be as cold as stone and so I was sure I convinced himsuccessfully. We talked a little about everything in general and as thedeparture was announced, goodbyes were said. I maintained my same expression ofdisinterest throughout, though, till date I cannot understand why was it that Ididn’t want him to know that I was pleased that he came or that I was waitingfor him to come. But the moment I thought that the train was ready to move, Ilooked outside my tinted window and was shocked that he was looking in, to findme. It took me a while to realise that he couldn’t possibly see me, but still, Iwas shocked because it felt like he was looking right at me and smiling and somehow he had realised that the expression I had on my face was all fake.

After all this,the train finally did start. I dared not to look out again and immersed myselfin a novel. And at night as I tried to fall asleep, I couldn’t stop thinking,that after all these years, there was actually a stranger who could look at meand know what I was hiding. I have always been careful around people. Exceptfor my family and the closest of my friends, to everyone else I am a differentperson. So, just as any logical person like me would do, I chose to ignorepeople who could read me easily and thus, I chose to ignore him. And once thatdecision was made, I could sleep; I no longer had to try. And regarding whathappened later, well that’s a story for the next time. 

 

 



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Comments

  1. 1. @admin FullhydBlogs
    By V  |  7 Jun 2010, 6:19am

    If someone's listening, I hate the formatting issues. Please see if anything can be done


  2. 2. Re: The Train Chronicles Part – II
    By KK  |  7 Jun 2010, 9:16am

    What a post ! I felt like I was there watching you through all this. Nicely written and with patience ;)

    I didnt get the part about the 'someone you knew' and then suddenly he became a stranger...


  3. 3. Re: The Train Chronicles Part – II
    By fullhyd.com  |  7 Jun 2010, 11:37am

    @V: Are you the owner of this blog? If you can tell us specifically what issues you face, we will be glad to address them :).


  4. 4. The Train Chronicles Part – II
    By Jaya Prakash  |  8 Jun 2010, 2:18am

    what so special about ur writing is u create environment of the situation perfect,that it actually feel like i was sitting next u and watching every thing.Waiting to read the next part...


  5. 5. @KK
    By V  |  8 Jun 2010, 7:44am

    :) thanks
    and regarding the stranger part...
    nobody reveals themselves to you... and based on that, i tend to consider people strangers as much... knowing someone (literally) doesn't justify that you "know" them :)


  6. 6. @admin FullhydBlogs
    By V  |  8 Jun 2010, 7:58am

    Yup, I own this blog. And regarding the issues, they are basically ones with formatting. While i try to copy my blog into your text editor area from Word, part of the text loses the spaces in between(for eg : "I became" in word, would show up as "Ibecame"). This has been happening despite re-editing the content on the editor @your end too. This has only been a recent issue, two blogs old i guess, for me.
    Could you please look into it.


  7. 7. @ Jaya Prakash
    By V  |  8 Jun 2010, 8:00am

    Thanks.
    Will come up with the next part soon.


  8. 8. Re: The Train Chronicles Part – II
    By Kedar  |  22 Apr 2011, 7:42pm

    Nice blog. Read some of the older posts too. Liked the Train Chronicles. Thanks.


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