27 Jul 2004
Just...
It’s amazing how some people seem to have all the clarity in the world. To put down, in black and white words that were once dimensions of unwieldy emotions splitting at the seams.
When I sit down to write, my thoughts just go into a never-ending spiral – kind of like watching a mirror reflected in a mirror, in a mirror, in a mirror…
Most times, it is about surrounding a miniscule grain of truth with noncommittal words that add no value to the grain. Pretty words that are complete in themselves, and yet the sum of the parts never really amounts to much.
How simply some write about love and hurt and heartbreak and wrenching pain and joy and wonder… when none of these so-called emotions have ever gathered the courage to stare at you shame-facedly – in all their nudity.
And soon it becomes important as to who’s reading it. And sooner than that, the words take on a life of their own; they self-consciously seek the diplomatic path – fearing saying too much, or much worse – too little.
Your thoughts, far from being your own, are now part of the collective conscious… and have committed themselves to conformity.
Perhaps, words, like emotions fade away with time –lose their fervour and die like martyrs. That probably explains why my eight standard diary far from recounting the emotional upheaval of a 14 yr old now sounds like the ultimate Freudian delight.
Guess I’m doing the whole noncommittal words thing right now…I suppose this calls for identifying the grains of truth after all.
Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: To the moon n back
Comments (15) Trackbacks (0) Permalink
By nishant
27 Jul 2004, 4:13pm [ Reply ]
much too confusing...happenned te same with me when i was trying to read James Joyce in standard eight... :-)
By nishant
27 Jul 2004, 4:15pm [ Reply ]
oh now it makes sense... krits..the whole point of art is not that you are experiencing the artist but just looking at yourself through a convoluted lens...thats the beauty of it and the ugliness for nothing can be more ugly than the inner reality nor more beautiful
By nishant
27 Jul 2004, 4:19pm [ Reply ]
...and therefore for that reason some of the simplest of words like love other human beings can be so non-conformist that Jesus and many other saints have to be burnt alive
By nishant
27 Jul 2004, 4:20pm [ Reply ]
...but a very thought provoking post...absolutely loved it
By salvagepoint
27 Jul 2004, 6:22pm [ Reply ]
glad I invoke James Joyce-like confusion.and will keep in mind that it took 3 whole comments before this post finally made sense! ;-)
By Aran
27 Jul 2004, 7:13pm [ Reply ]
It
By aloque
27 Jul 2004, 11:54pm [ Reply ]
there was more clarity there than you give yourself credit for.....
By Piyush
28 Jul 2004, 10:33am [ Reply ]
Ok. I confess. Unlike my able friend, I wouldnt be able to make sense of this even after 4 comments. So I guess that puts me safely out of the purview of your Profile #1...when do you do the remaining 6 :-)?
By sanyacid
28 Jul 2004, 12:46pm [ Reply ]
there's someone in my head but its not me?
By AdI
28 Jul 2004, 12:59pm [ Reply ]
the perpetual ascendancy of non-commital emotions is the first sign of emotional unstability .... makes sense ? ;--) no problems if it doesn't, im as much as in the dark... and i SAID it!!!!!!
has it ever happened to you tht you sit doen to write something, you are thinking about this thing at that time... and you end up writing something totally different.
who's to say that u did that coz u r confused .... i think i agree with aloque .... there's more clarity here than u give urself credit for
By krits
28 Jul 2004, 1:18pm [ Reply ]
yes..someone in my head but not me...it never is, yet it always is,isn't it?
By nishant
28 Jul 2004, 2:32pm [ Reply ]
the thing about head is that it is just a combinatorial whole of infinitely miniscule objects. each of these objects react to different stimuli in fashions too myriad to comprehend. This makes the entire thought process so stochastic that the process of actually emanating of thoughts and the final penning (in this case keying) of words is subjects to a plethora of dependent events each of which can drastically alter the final result. Therefore when you say that its someone in your head, the point to note is that the head itself doesnot belong to any one...or to look at it from another point of view it belongs to any thing and every thing in the world.(even that molecule that moved because that cow flipped its tail)...Ah...things become a mere chiarscuro or clarity and compleixty once when digs deep and reaches the micro-existential realities... thats the beauty of it all...thats the beauty of a writers words, your posts, adi's comments..and my ramblings... as i said before...an extremely thought provoking post..and even more thought provoking comments...
By nishant
28 Jul 2004, 2:35pm [ Reply ]
...after writing all that ..now i wonder why did i put it in a comment..when i could have used it as my next post....grrrrr :-D
By Axe Muderer
29 Jul 2004, 11:46pm [ Reply ]
You seem like one confused young lady!!! And my guess is you are preparing for your GRE? Try simple writing, it will at least help you put down your thoughts clearly!
By krits
30 Jul 2004, 9:58am [ Reply ]
when simple writing appears complex, I would think THAT calls for some GRE coaching for urself, don't u think?