Pick me up. Im easy

aloque | 24/08/2004, 16:23 hrs

What is the best way to approach a girl? I mean for an average Joe (with the apparent success of TV land's Joe with women, I am forced to reconsider and will henceforth call the average clueless man, an average aloque, which if you ask me or not slips off the tongue much better) .. so what does an average aloque do when he faces the women of the world, and more importanty, what does he do when he chances upon the women that he finds interesting?

Does he bring on his best Pierce Brosnan impression. It will only be about 2 seconds before she notices the nailcutter on his keychain isn't a controller for the latest BMW. Also, Mr. Brosnan, I am reliaby told, does not write the suave, charming lines he mouths off. I am also told that he takes an inhuman amount of time to learn up those lines. And that they are written by another average aloque somewhere in the world who has all these beautiful feelings inside of him, but lacks the Brosnan delivery style.

Should he bring out his tight Brad Pitt body? Well, if he had one he wouldn't really be the average aloque now, would he? It still remains a sad fact of the average aloque's life that he looks better with his clothes on. Not good, just better.

So, does he bring out the Superman costume he has been so carefully hiding behind his thick glasses? Not when women are his kryptonite and he needs the reflective capabilities of his lead rimmed glasses to protect himself.

Does he roam the alleys behind DRDL hoping to be bitten by a radioactive spider? (Does a radioactive dog count? I mean, is there any woman attracting potential for SuperSnoopy?)

In the end he is forced to be himself, and a lot of good that has done for him on the past. He has found that the direct approach is not the best way to go, and that still puzzles him, despite his vast IQ. Painful episodes that flash into his mind

The average aloque and attractive women incidents to date:


AAA = an average aloque
AWA = attractive woman being approached

INCIDENT 1 - The woman in college. AAA has talked to her a couple of times and thinks this is a good time to let her know...

AAA = hi, ahem, hey, I think you are interesting and would like to get to know you better. So, can I call you sometime?
AWA = well, I don't really answer telephones.

C'mon what does one say to that? - " Oh. Really? How normal. I suppose you have an allergic reaction to instruments that speak to you, or hey, here's an idea....maybe it's me?"

Instead AAA = oh, ok. Guess I'll see you around sometime.
Of course, he avoids her like the plague for the rest of his life. And she's happy as pie.

INCIDENT 2 - The woman at the party. So AAA thought she smiled at him and he decides to let her know...

AAA (putting telephone allergy girl in a dark cage at the back of his mind) = Hi, I am aloque, and you are...
AWA = I don't have a name.









So, the AAA is not quick on the retort, but he is usually on the thin line between self confidence and self loathing, and this pushes him back a couple of points on the happiness scale. And many rungs on the social interaction ladder.

In any case, the AAA likes to save face as much as the next dude...

AAA = ok then, its nice not to meet you.
AWA (still registering while he walks away)

INCIDENT 3 - AAA sick of all the pressure of coming up with clever lines (or) Why should the guy take all the pressure?

AAA = Hi. Reject me.
AWA = What??
AAA = I am interested in you and I am not going to go away until you reject me.
AWA = sod off, you psycho.
AAA = Sorry, not good enough. You need to be cleverer.
AWA = Ok then, I am going to call the cops.
AAA = oh! the cops don't answer telephones. Didn't you know that?

As you probably have guessed, this is all in the AAA's head but he needs his release.

All in all, the women of today have repeatedly said that they want a smart, sensitive guy who can be understanding, who has a sense of humour. They have also gone on record saying that he needn't be a Pierce Brosnan or a Brad Pitt, but they expect all the not so cool dudes to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker. So, this average aloque is shooting off his mouth. He needs his release too.

These are thoughts that have been in my head for a while and reading a fellow blogger this morning, they have reached a point that they can be put in black and white.

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: microtone piano experiments

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Responses to Pick me up. Im easy

  1. aloque, dude you are super cool, if i was a girl i would even say you are adorable. but its sad and true, you will always have the above said troubles with women and unfortunately not too many women fall for i am easy pick me up line. But when one walks up to you and has the patience to discover you you will have found bliss, probably you will have tons of women whove read this blog wanting to drool over you this minute. good luck mate.

  2. Yeah, I am quite the virtual stud.

  3. hahahahhaaaa...
    no no.. NO!.. you ARE stud.
    you know me, i just laugh, all the time.


    *still laughing*

  4. lol, excellent post aloque, I can't speak for all the girls, but personally I think the most attractive trait is being one's self, not trying to be something or other, no Brad Pitt or Pierce or even Sean Connery, just plain one's self, nothing artificial, no rehearsed lines written by some other dude somewhere, respect and wit and humour yes, but most of all natural, nothing like hey let me drink up this glass of starch so I can be straight type, just regular me, warts and all, as they tend to show up in the near future anyway :D

  5. PS, just realised that the "unending chatter" is me, blushes, uhmmm, is that good or bad? grins

  6. FA, where have you been, If you were here all this time, I would never have doubted my studly status.
    Lily, welcome to my parlour, baby...

  7. was that in a thought bubble or said out loud? :P

  8. Being linked to aloque's blog. FA will tell you that its not a big deal, but I'll say that it's subject to interpretation.
    If you are blushing it can't be all bad now, can it?

  9. If I were to take note of what you said in your own blog and say that it's in a thought bubble, that would be me falling all over myself to get into your good graces.
    Did it work?

  10. lol lol lol, you want it to work?

  11. and good or bad was referring to the un-ending chatter not the link

  12. I'd give my left hand and two toes off my right foot for it to work.
    Unending chatter has its points, you know. Especially when its whispered into willing ears.

  13. People, I think we better leave these two alone.

  14. you don't even know what you're wishing for :D, remember the quote : "those whom the goddesses wish to punish ... they grant him his wish :D

  15. People, I think we better leave these two alone.

  16. With one hand and two toes missing, you don't think I am sufficiently punished?
    Do you remember the quote,"He knows not what he asks for, for care has left his mind the moment he laid eyes on her"

  17. all right, i confess, I made that load of crap up.
    But, don't hold it against me for sanity has followed care out of the window.

  18. laughs, but you haven't even laid your eyes on me, I could be some onld hag with a glass eye and a wooden leg :P and no Ginny, a chaperone is uhmmm welcome lol lol

  19. not holding anything at all, don't want no worms :P

  20. Grinny, I think, has had enough.
    But I have seen you. In your words. Its not often I am glad when the chatter is endless.

    Sure I'm laying it on thick enough?

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