WE CAME DOWN FROM THE TREES!!!
Stand-Alone Dreamer | 14 September 2004, 6:44pmAnd then I realize the only physical exercise I did this week-end was climbing up and down the stairs. And it is already Monday, and the hours had passed by swiftly, by the minute, as always. I am not a morning person, in the sense that I don't look forward to it. But I still think & whine about the time to have breakfast, to smell the coffee, read the papers on line, a post here & a mail there, listen to music.
But I couldn't possibly work during normal hours, having to rush in the morning, not having time to think, to stare at the screen while say, Kathryn Williams whispering to my ears. My eyes are still half-closed, and my brain is not quite up yet, but my mind is still between a broken dream and a promised land. It will take me at least one more hour to be ready to start typing any coherent phrases, to make up my mind about all the things that have to be done if one wants to be a normal person.
I think of mornings as this space and place for recollection and reflection. I am reminded of the gorillas I saw at one of those National Geographic Zoo explorations sometime back, how they grabbed their heads with their hands, as if they were involved in some deep phenomenological diatribe, or as if trying to forget some painful memory. I was deeply moved by the immobile anxiety they showed; it was the unquestionable evidence that we had more than one thing in common. Unlike other primates in the zoo, the gorillas would not even move at all, unless for a slight movement of the left hand to scratch some area of the head. One of them was lying flat on his back, and held his head with both hands, sometimes covering his eyes. And I could not but feel empathy.
My mornings are like a day in a zoo: the consciousness that I am being observed, that things must be done, performed, that I am not totally on my own, and that I am not really free to do whatever I may want to. Mornings are the place where I realize that we came down from the trees, as they say, very slowly, but violently at the same time, by force, as when I fall out of bed, hurting my head. To start a new day, a new week, is painful. I cover my eyes and my ears with a pillow, and realize someone, out there, is looking.
Current Mood: Worried
Current Music: We Came Down from the Trees - Kathryn Williams
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1. By tabrez | 14 Sep 2004, 7:44pm
solution... work the night shift better yet graveyard???