Tauba Tauba Tauba!

azazel | 05 October, 2004 10:50

no, im not repenting for me sins.. last post got ONE reply!! Hallelujah for the tender mercies. anyway, moving on with my excesses, here's the next 2 movies: but, before that let me profusely thank a friend of mine for talking me into watchin these along with him for the sheer reason that he might not make it through alone! so, we went to Anand on a friday morning to catch the first-day-first-show of Tauba Tauba!

Going by the tag-line of the movie, which was kinda well-advertised, "15 year old boy, 25 year old girl"; we're not looking at something ground-breaking. looked like a loser, raunchy, low-budget, badly-acted, poorly-directed, front-benchers-only kind. the big question was "would it deliver?" well, judging by the exulted screams, shouts, laser-shows n laffter erupting from all around us poor buggers, it was well worth it. One things for sure, gone are the days of old fat-bodies enacting out the sexy lass in such kinda movies. we have 2 models, one of them a known face baring it all. also, a saas-bahu girl doing an item number..hmmm, interesting. The story? yes, there is a lil story too. A school boy, the progeny of a millionaire is back home for his vacations. he is horny, as expected, so's his dad! played by Ayub Khan[the lusar in Dil Chahta Hai], this is what lack of work does to an actor. sheeesh. anyway, the kid's conned by his greedy manager, played by some idiot. n the rest of the movie is how the kid gets his revenge/money, with a lil' help from the kind-hearted, barely dressed lady; by way of Big Fat Liar/ Home Alone. Along the way, we get to see an over-dose of skin, quite a few smooches and stuff the front-benchers would die for. i just couldnt imagine the stuff the cleaners have to pick up! again, the big Q, does it deliver? it does, to some extent. i mean, the target audience would definitely soak this up n demand more. it has a story which allows for the ultimate male-fantasy of a hot/inviting neighbour, a twist before the interval, item songs, a comedy track and dialogues which will make Javed Akhtar froth in delirium. Where else would u hear an exclamation like "sex hua, vo maragayi!" or "ye to sexual murder ka case lagta hai!" or the entire "ek baap ko apne jawan bache ka khayal rakhna chahiye, khaas kar is umr me" recited by Payal Rohtagi wearing a dress much smaller her size. Hence, morals are also given a chance here making it a complete movie. so, was the movie a successful endeavour by the makers? well, the audience seem to think so. hell, even me had some fun, atleast the one-liners from the audience were funny. plus, we're also enlightened to a new acroynym U.S.A - Ultra Sexy Aunty, which is said by the kid to his teacher in the movie.. aah, well, in some places.. anything goes ;)

The next movie, which we were forced to witness that same evening was Shaque. Now, this one had the makings of a true innovator; the tag-line going something like "He creates magic before killing". If that aint uber-cool, then what is?!?! Boasting of an all star cast of nobodys except for Mushtaq Khan[u know him??] n PREM CHOPRA[one of my favs.. *sigh*]. This one too has EVERYTHING that the ppl who were ultimately going to watch it would want. us? no, we're outta the Q. Concerns a group of college students and a serial killer amongst them. The plot's so convoluted, it'll be hazard if i try to reproduce the same here. Suffice to say, all of it is duly/whole-heartedly explained off in the end. Now, we had an extremely enthusiastic debut by the hero who does everything Hrithik did in his debut vehicle.. he dances, he kicksass, he does comedy/emotion/romance/dialogue-heavy fundu stuff with all the earnestness of a monkey. the highlight of the movie is a sequence which lasted 5 mins. starts of with the bickering of the usual man vs. woman, gets a bit philosophical n religious with Ram/Sita coming into the picture, then becomes goofy with our hero taking his shirt off n daring the heroine to do the same, then.. Dhadang Dhadang Dhadang, she disrobes n the boobies pop-out on the screen for a full 2 seconds! followed by stunned silence in the theater, which i admit im still tryin to make out - was it because of the debate going on? or coz she disrobed? well, still want more? sorry, was too dazed to remember what happened afterwards. again, cool dialogues pop-out with the frequency of dead bodies in Kill Bill 1. "Duniya bahot buri jagah hai" is the takiya-kalam of our well meaning Cop, the title "Shaque" must've been repeated arnd 2 dozen times. All said n done, another movie experience of its kind. Didnt have as much fun as, Tauba Tauba.. must've been missing the audience from the morning. arey, almost forgot.. it also features one of the most atrociously funny things ive seen on film in quite a while. The killer n his mudus operandi!! that was the high-light of the movie, waitasec, havent i already mentioned that? well, as i said earlier, anything goes! so, the MO involves putting on gloves, taking a needle which is dripping with Cyanide ofkorz, making a catapult with a rubber-band n ur fingers, sticking the needle in this catapult, aiming it at ur target n shooting with deadly precision. i mean, in all fairness u dun get to see this kind of originality in mainstream movies. its pathetic attempt at being a terrifying ordeal during the scene where the killer chases his fat target with his hands holding the mechanism is sooooooo fuckin funny, my stomach still hurts.

lesson learned : watch more B movies..