29 Sep 2004


Posted by Divakar in General | 10:11pm

Lost in solitude,

no place to hide,

crippled soul,

broken mind,

wasted time,

frozen emotions.

Reason to breathe,

is still to chant,

your name,

in vain,

a cloud of pain.

Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: free bird

23 Sep 2004

The unnamed emotion!!

Posted by Divakar in General | 10:12pm

Is it just me?? am i still sane? or am i weird? Well, the other day, one of my very close friends mailed me with a wonderful news. She's getting married!! wow! Its been a while since i heard a pleasant news and this really made my day. I was and still so happy for her. A couple of hours later, another similar news dropped in the mail. Whats goin on??

 But then, there is this unknown fear, an emotion, buried deep inside me. I spent my teens, my most special years with these friends. They have always been there for me, through my thick and thin. Its just the thought that , these buddies would now have a different life, a new family, responsibilities and an entire new world, ... And our relationship would never be the same. It would take a different direction, probably with many uncertainities and there, lies a sense of insecurity.

Iam not saying that they would forget me ..never. Yes, i would always be there in their prayers, in their thoughts, but the good old times?? Wish i could turn back time. Just the memories remain. Its this possessive feeling of "my friends", and the thoughts of being alone again, without these mates, is unimaginable. I understand, we all need to move on with our lives, and its their turn now. My best wishes with them. Dont know why i had such a selfish thought.

Am i weird?? or have you been through this??

Any thoughts??

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: lou reed- walk on wild side

16 Sep 2004

Peace sells

Posted by Divakar in General | 4:11am

The sweating bullets,

The lives taken.

Promises made,

Of an unknown tomorrow.

Buried truth,

On frowning smiles,

Massive explosions,

Of shattered emotions.

Capital punishments,

Of the lame and innocent.

Peace is on auction,

But who

Current Mood: Desperate
Current Music: one-u2

11 Sep 2004

Symphony of silence!

Posted by Divakar in General | 5:08am

I walk through an emotional turbulence,

Yet, she mesmerizes me with her symphony of silence.

The bliss of solitude is now an addiction,

life is nothing but a self imposed crucifixion.

Current Mood: Lovestruck
Current Music: Runaway train

7 Sep 2004

Dead man walkin!!!

Posted by Divakar in General | 3:59am

Who said that there are no jobs in India??? I was very lonely this afternoon, had nothing to do and my heart was not into my assignment. So i decided to read one of the boring Australian newspapers(trust me guys, the newspapers here are really boring). On the contrary, it is very interesting to know that there is some news about India everyday. Well, i can assure you that you would never find anything about our It sectors doing well or our service industry capturing the eye of every nation. You would just find the news that amuses the "firang" and give them a chance to say "it happens only in India".

Well, coming back to the article: A school head master, retired sometime in june last year(btw...this happened somewhere near Delhi), and a month later, the poor guy passed away. However, a couple of days ago, his family recieved a letter from the state government.

Guess what the letter was about??? Well, it was his transfer orders and he's been posted to a different town as a head master of another school.

Now, who says that there are no jobs in India. Jobs are created even for the dead.

May his soul rest in peace!!!!!

Current Mood: Patriotic
Current Music: Ozzy- Perry mason

5 Sep 2004


Posted by Divakar in General | 6:45am

I look at her picture in the moonlight,

twisted memories in black and white.

The Godess of love smiles straight into my eyes,

deep down within, my heart cries.

She loves the spring of September,

she says the prayers, i never remember.

She likes the rides when it rains,

she smiles and takes all my pains.

She likes the ripples on the water,

she lived her life just a bit shorter.

How could she do this to me?

tied me with her love and set me free.

I smell her smile in the air,

I breathe her name, i care.

Current Mood: Bye!
Current Music: lost for words- pink floyd

1 Sep 2004

Creeping death

Posted by Divakar in General | 5:05am

"12 Nepalese killed in Iraq"! Well, this news has become a part of our daily lives. But have we thought about those families, who lost a son, a brother, a father or a beloved. Well, iam not trying to show that iam the only concerned person around, not trying to be God. Just realised that it is so easy to sit in an air conditioned room,listening to our favourite music and having some vodka. But just the thought of the gruisome beheading of 12 innocent people, churned my tummy. Well, i know, just the thought would not make any difference to the things that have been happening around and iam no super hero who would save this world. Just put myself in his shoes. What must have gone through his head?? fear, loved ones or a glimmer of hope of life or a few unanswered questions: why am i killed?? why ME?? and the only sound that he hears is the grounding of that sword, a few words spoken by his captives in an uncomprehensive language, flashes of all the loved ones and that strange darkness, one where there is no hope of light again. But what can i do??? i asked this to myself a billion times, disturbed and frustrated. I wish i could make some difference, lying in the bed helpless, thinking about my assignments. I could come up with just one conclusion: all i can do is pray and i will, but hope someone hears them, if there is one.

Current Mood: Worried
Current Music: Metallica- sad but true