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Angst and Ennui

28 May, 2005 @ 5:08pm | General

Old man Ares

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: dido

boredom and guns

25 May, 2005 @ 9:47pm | General

There are days and then there are those days.

This is one of those days. when u wish u had a fully loaded gun and spare clips. Preferably The navy colt .38 magnum. no particular reason except that all my favourite western novel heroes seem to prefer it.  Colt .38 caliber revolvers were first bought for the U.S. Navy in 1889. In 1890, the Army field tested 100 of these revolvers and purchased 100 to repay the Navy. An order for 8,000 Colts followed, and from that date until adoption of the .45 Automatic, the Colt .38 revolver was the standard issue sidearm for the Army, Navy and Revenue Cutter Service (early Coast Guard).

The .38 is below and beside it is the .45 navy colt automatic. It was reputed to blow holes the size of a fist in the poor unfortunate facing it.

After the navy colt i like the british brownings.. simply because they look really cute.. and they make cuter holes


The luger come in third. and this one here is the culprit behind the deaths of all the hero's friends in ww2 movies who get killed by the germans.



But the guns is not the point. Its boredom. of the extreme variety. The guns come in the picture coz any one of them can be the cure simply by the application of gentle pressure on the component known as the trigger with the business end of the gun pointing at the shortest route between the two ears of the boredom afflicted.

I dont get to meet interesting people. Interesting people are people who sleep with guns under their pillow.  I dont know a single guy who sleeps with a loaded gun under his pillow. James bond sleeps with one. but we have not yet been formally introduced.

I wish to place on record my displeasure with this sordid activity called life and the management responsible for making it the way it is. I protest the Vision,Mission and policies of the management. I vote for a change. The opposition party must be brought to power.I demand more excitement and entertainment. I was not consulted before being produced and had i known how terribly boring its going to be i would have never accepted. The only happy thought is that it cant last forever.

This was a bad deal.

Current Mood: Bored
Current Music: nuthing

5 minutes

23 May, 2005 @ 5:35pm | General

Please decide and inform me in 5 minutes.Then the phone went dead.

I sat and pondered over the '5 minutes'. 5 minutes in which to consider everything, and give a definitive answer. not an unreasonable request.

The thing to do is as follows:

can be done in 5 minutes.

Instead what i do is :

phone rings.

hello? i say

well? he says

Sure. i say

good. he says

Making weighty decisions is hard work.Lifes journey is frought with decisions. Having come to the chasm and discovering no means to cross it for to ones chagrin some fool's burnt the bridge , one has no option but to leap. and midway into the leap is the wrong time to be debating ones decision.

Life is fun, unplanned, undebated, unhurried.

My old battle cry resounds in my ear " dekha jayega"


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: Stigmata- OST

starry eyed wars

22 May, 2005 @ 2:11pm | General


i sit here with a wide grin and a ticket in my pocket for the 4:45 show of star wars at prasad.

yesterday morning i was at vijaywada and wondering whether i would be able to make it in time. yesterday afternoon i was in ongole wondering whether i would get tickets, yesterday evening i was in nellore considering how the chances were against me.

morning 7 i arrive hyd. i love the view of the city as one enters in the mornings. the minars of the high court make for an absolutely facinating sight in the mornings. and the buddha in his water fortress is a sight that gladens the eye

i havent slept much, but i'm loathe to sleep. i try the prasad number every half an hour. finally at 10 a break thru. lady informs, no tele booking, stand in queue and chances are bright.

rush, car goes vroom. reach prasad.. in the process exorcising old ghosts and by going thru a route studiously avoided till now.

big queue. TV screens informing availability. wait patiently . finally star wars 3- housefull , both shows

loud sound .heart goes crack.

hope:  the quintessential human delusion simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. (- the architect in matrix)

so i stand in queue, prepared to be ceremoniously told no tickets.

my turn. full dignity 'one ticket, star wars please.' no special emphasis on the please. that will come later after his response. miraculously he says. first row only. ok?

i ponder :))

i say : ok

done. :)

drive back. head in the clouds. blow kiss to ol buddha. notice they have put peevees photo's in his tomb or whatever its called. grin like a maniac. grin at people on the road, grin all the way home.

i feel good, real good.

 i'm the child of today, my life ruled by instant gratification and mindless crass commercialism . no flower to give power, no rock to roll. no ideologies to die for . no nothing.

one front row single ticket for the tube light fight show.

forgive me marcus aurelius, you'll have to wait till tonight.

Current Mood: Dumb
Current Music: pink panther theme


19 May, 2005 @ 3:15pm | General

Her face was contorted with her rage. Her neck stretched out, her hands waving wildly emphasizing every point. Our man looked at her calmly. Her hair was disarranged , she had a flush on her cheeks. His mind wondered if flushed cheeks is a sign of good health and if so then her anger is probably good for her health.  She was now holding his collar and her face was inches away. He was surprised that a woman so frail could have such strength. She was quite close. He wondered what would happen if he were to suddenly kiss her. She was screaming about something. He was aware of the noise emanating from her mouth and the relatively high decibel levels but he could not make sense of it . He had considered stuffing cotton in his ears before facing her but her voice was of a penetrating quality designed to circumvent or penetrate through all sound dampening materials. She was showing no signs of abating. For want of anything better to do he decided to attempt to see if she had any cavities. It would have twin purposes , one he would appear to be terribly interested in her and two it would increase his general knowledge. She appeared to get a bit rattled by his intense staring down her gullet. Suddenly he perceived questions were being asked of him, he was required to answer them. He hmmmed . How to answer a question he had not heard? He looked at her. She was looking at him, expectant. He hmmmed again. He thought deeply.

Current Mood: Dismissive
Current Music: fields of gold


8 May, 2005 @ 7:14pm | General

This is part of my charity efforts for teh year. I give you not only the receipe of the PGGB i even give you instructions on how to make teh earthly equivalent :)... who knows , who needs it.. where..

Enjoy and remember me before you say cheers :)

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

This is the original:

This makes one approximately 18 ounce Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. The reason this drink seems so large is that Zaphod Beeblebrox has two heads, so when he created it, it came out to 9 ounces per head, so both were happy.
Before drinking, eat one olive to create a sweetness in it which is not there.

Drink very, very extremely carefully at your own risk, and remember where your towel is (if you can).

Enjoy :))

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: im too sexy

The Athlete

7 May, 2005 @ 5:51pm | General

The athlete sat on his bench in the locker room staring at nothing.

A lifetime of training behind him, years of single minded focus and determination for this day. sacrifices, iron discipline, relentless hardwork, and today he felt at the peak of his form, he knew he was his best today and all those years of painstaking work were going to bear fruit today.

He got up, stretched and quickly went through his warm up routine. today was his day, today he was supreme.

It was time. His moment had arrived.

He walked into the stadium. He was excited to see the crowds, excited by finally getting here, in the arena where only the strongest, fastest and mightiest were heroes. but he controlled his excitement.. there was a race to be won. a medal to be worn. adulation to be received.

He looked at the other athletes alongside him. Each of them had worked hard like him to be here, but he was confident, for had he not spent days and nights training for this race, had he not worked harder than anybody else to get his body in its present pace?

The pistol shot and they leapt off. His feet pounded on the tracks with mechanical perfection. He was swift, he was fluid, he was going to win.

Suddenly he realised, he wasnt alone. Beside him was another man bigger stronger and swifter. and with every stride he was going further ahead. He tried his best, his mind and spirit were far ahead of him and his body valiantly fought to catch up. He poured out every ounce of everything he got into the effort but the other guy was still ahead. His muscles screamed, his body strained. his anguish heightened he stretched out every nerve every sinew.

Seconds later it was all over.

He lay panting besides the tracks. He watched the victor run into the crowds, his hands raised, the face jubliant. Wearily he got up and walked to the winner. He knew he has run his best race, he knew he had broken all his previous records but he also knew he had been beaten by a better man. He held out his hand to congratulate the victor but the hero of the day was too busy and occupied with his companions and the adulating crowds.

He sighed and turned back . He half heard the consolances of his friends. Defeat looked him squarely in the eye

Defeat: that most singularly crushing of all emotions. The realisation that you were not good enough. That your best is but a shadow in front of the brilliance of  others.

Defeat: That bitter pill ,life gives us sometimes. That cruelest but most effective of teachers. The classroom from where you cannot escape your lessons. The whipping you cannot avoid.

Defeat:A situation we all have to face sometime. Something we all need to figure out how to handle. where the theory is there in the head but it makes no difference in practice to how miserable you feel. when you fight to keep cheery while you are dying inside.

He smiled as if it was ok, he shrugged as if it didnt matter, he agreed to everyone who said there is a next time, he accepted all inspirational quotes handed out to him to ease the blow. He joked, He laughed.

Then he walked into his locker room alone and shut the door firmly behind him.


The athlete sat on his bench in the locker room staring at nothing.

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Prof Ludwig van Drake