Category: General

Fact of Life

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 2 Mar 2005, 9:16pm

It's your attitude,

not your aptitude, which determines

your altitude in life.

Current Mood: Preachy
Current Music: Theme song of Kareena on Zee TV


My Hot Neighbour

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 20 Feb 2005, 5:24am

Observation 1 : Her balcony's too far away from mine to be able to jump into and back when she's not at home.

Proof 1 : I tried throwing a cigarette butt in.......shorted it by abt a foot.

Observation 2 : She's not married.

Proof 2 : I'm constantly looking at her clothesline and I've never seen guys clothes.

Observation 3 : She's single.

Proof 3 : She spends a lot of time in front of the TV and in the balcony.

Observation 4 : She works a graveyard shift.

Proof 4 : From observation 2 it is obvious that she has to be working. a) She's always at home during the day time.

b) There are no lights on after 9 pm.

Combining a and b we come to Observation 4

Observation 5 : She's lonely.

Proof 5 : (and I'm not lying about this) I saw her touching herself. Although the view wasnt very clear, the fact that she forgot to close her balcony door helped me. Although I didnt see anything that she'll be embarassed about, I did see her rubbing her thighs.





Current Mood: Religious
Current Music: Fight Club Theme


Get a Life

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 30 Jan 2005, 3:36am
The all-time worst comment you hear online is the "Jeez!! Get a life".

DUnno why, but this one stings more than any other.

Current Mood: Crude
Current Music: Dream THeatre - Awake


We, the people

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 7 Jan 2005, 2:53pm
Alas another Director whose success went to his head. Although I do not think that Lagaan is a good movie, I'll admit that it must've been special. Or too many people get conned easily.
Gowariker's second movie is a must see for all the fans of the Success-made-em-lose-focus group of directors. These guys make movies that help movie goers......the flaws are so obvious that anybody can pick them out. This is probably because of the fact that these guys suddenly take themselves so seriously that scenes with simple emotions become 3 minute montages with intricate soundscapes and heavy dialogue.
Swades will not be liked for what it'll be liked for what it could have been. It could have been another Oscar worthy Indian entry (no Indian movie in the next 10 years will win an Oscar. Period.) ShahRukh for once is believable as an actor and Gayatri Joshi's screen presence is simply stunning.
Let me brief ya.....SRK comes home to take his aunt, his heart suddenly changes and decides to spend the rest of his life here. The start and ending are alrite. Its the middle part thats fucked up.
SRK's strong beliefs and goals simply do a 180 flip. The incidents that run up to this could have been so much more powerful. At this point of the film, AG had the audience eating out of his hand and he goes and metamorphosises the character so badly that you start feeling cheated outta your tears.
Yes people!! At this point I was ready to cry my eyes out for the condition of people in our country but AG is so flat that you wish you could punch his nose and bring him down from the clouds. SRK's performance at this point was should get his street-rep high again.
AG tried to get in a morale lifting sequence again, but the buildup was too short and artificial. At this point I was wishing AG had stuck to directing and borrowed stories with carefully done screenplays, atleast the dialogues wouldnt be so corny and full of contradictions. Although more Hollywood for its sensitivity and character chemistry than any recent flick, its nowhere near the point of making you geniunely feel strongly for the characters or storyline.

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Wrestling themes


My life changed. No.....not really

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 7 Jan 2005, 2:12pm
Sorry if the heading conned you into reading this.

First of all let me tell u all that the previous blog entry was from the book I'm currently reading...Marylin Manson's autobiography "The Long Hard Road to Hell". So Romu stop asking silly q's and try increasing ur Kill Skill.

In every Hindu Cultural event why do they refer to our city as Bhagyanagar? Are they ashamed that our city is named after a muslim??

Where was Oliver Stone trying to go with Alexander? Saw it twice but could'nt see his point. Both times I walked out of the theatre praising Stone but that was more outta respect for Natural Born Killers and Platoon. After a while though I felt cheated outta my time and money. I spent 35 bucks and 150 mins and had no feelings of sadness, disgust, insight, fuzziness or awe that a man like Oliver Stone usually generates. The same thing happened twice.

Silly movie geek interpretation coming up---
In Alexander I think the Eagle is supposed to signify the God Zeus (who Alexander calls the God of Sun, I dispute that but forgive). The Eagle flies outta the sun and keeps an eye on Alexander during battles, long hard journeys and death scenes. Also it is an Eagle that "takes away" Alexander's soul (ref. last scene). BTW Zeus is supposed to be Alexander's father.

Why are they making more alien movies with no original material?? "The Forgotten" sucks ass.

Why was "The Village" panned?? I thought the ending was cool.

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Wrestling Themes


The JaszMan is back!!!

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 5 Jan 2005, 12:14am
Among all things that can be complated under the concavity of the heavens, nothing is seen that arouses the human spirit more, that ravishes the senses more, that horrifies more, that provokes more terror or admiration than the monsters, prodigies and abominations through which we see the works of nature inverted, mutilated and truncated.
Pierre Boaistuau, Histoires Prodigieuses, 1561

That's true.

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Marilyn Manson


Jasz writes a letter

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 8 Jul 2004, 6:50am
Dear Mr. Mod,

Firstly, I would like to clarify that I have absolutely no hard feelings against you for banning me and hope that my banning wasnt a result of some hard feelings that you had against me for making your sunday evenings a bit tougher. **wink, wink**

I wont deny saying all those horrible horrible things. I also wont repent for saying them. They came out just as I wanted them to. I wont protest the was somethng that I totally deserved. But it really irks me to see that BlackWizard and Johnny also got banned for things that I said. For them it was a night of fun that went awry (pronounced or-I) and they shouldnt have been banned. I do sincerely hope that you revoke their bans.

As for me I shall have to find others ways to sneak in. I've already sneaked in twice under other IDs but you crushed me like a cockroach. Contrary to what most people think, I wasnt sad to hear that I was banned. The very first thing I did was to try to get in through a proxy. Unfortunately my computer skills are very limited and I hope some of the readers will give me ideas to break in. As the day wore on numerous FH users laughed at me for being banned. (I hate you guys : Nutty, Azazel, PSD, Stingrae, Romu, Baap and BW himself). But with each scorn my resolve to get in on the action strengthened. I shall return....someday, somehow.

Many people asked me why I (henceforth called The Victim) had gone to such an extreme in dissing the sisters (henceforth called The Perpetrators).

For over a month now The Victim (thats me) watched as his beloved boards fell prey to spammers and homosexuals. Being the one with the biggest ego (and the biggest ass) The Victim could not bear seeing these n00bs surpassing his post count. Taking matters into his hands he challenged the spammers to numerous cursefests and won. Such cursefests got rid of spammers like Rocksomething and CrackedNut (or so he thought).

There were others spammers who couldnt be defeated in cursefests. He introduced them to the blogs and made them lose interest in spamming. This got rid of spammers like Stingrae and Baap. The last remaining people on his list were The Perpetrators. The Victim thus devised a plan to irritate them and make them hate the boards. The plan consisted of continuos mental torture over a period of 4 days. He even made a list of gaalis to be used on each day.

Alas!!! The plan backfired and The Victim was banned.

Now people will ask me why I hated The Perpetrators so much.

To that I ask you, why did my cusses irritate you? I'm pretty sure they irritated you for their extreme vulgar content and their total disrespect for other peoples feelings.

I hated The Perpetrators for similar reasons. Their pansy posts about "not parking in zones for pregnant women, hating dolls because they looked freaky, silly food combos" are IMHO a total disrespect of my feelings.

But will you ban them, dear Mod??? No. Probably because of my remark last sunday that Balakrishna was famous.

Current Mood: Vicious
Current Music: nope


Jasz is Banned

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 7 Jul 2004, 4:29pm
I have been banned from the FullHyd boards. I'm kinda proud since this adds to my credibility if being a total asshole

Current Mood: Triumphant
Current Music: nope


Jasz on Hyderabad Blues 2

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 7 Jul 2004, 9:49am
It was an offer that I couldnt refuse. My friend promised to get the tickets, pay for the popcorn, and buy me cigarettes if I saw Hyderabad Blues 2 again.

It was a big mistake. The movie was such a drag that Mirchi suddenly seemed a classic. Nagesh Kukanoor's sequel to his first movie is probably his worst yet. He hasnt improved one bit from his very first movie. The same amatuerish camera-work. The same crass comedy thats funny only because its in the Hyderabadi lingo. The same caricaturised look at orthodox parents. The only improvement was probably the acting and the junta in the theatre (house full).

Hyderabad Blues's charm was in the honesty and sincerity of Kukanoor's characters. The movies strength was in the realistic situations and conversations that the lead pair had. This movie sucks because this realism went out the window the moment the story gets interesting.

Let me explain. Varun (kukanoor) almost kisses an employee. (Keyword:almost). His wife gets to know and immediately asks him to leave. (Keyword:immediately). A few days later, after refusing to even see him, she asks for a Divorce. (Keyword:refusing).

Although she knows that he didn't lay a lip on his employee, she wants a divorce because she cant trust him anymore. That's understandable. When he finally convinces her to come back to him, she goes ahead with the divorce because his parents spew some orthodox shit about a womans suffering post-divorce being more than a mans. (Keyword:Unrealistic). Are we supposed to believe that she got a divorce because society says she cannot live alone and not because she was pissed at her husband??

The worst thing about HB1 were the sad camera angles. I'm dissapointed that after 4 movies Mr Kukanoor hasnt improved one bit. The product placement was a little too obvious.(keyword:Corporate Sellout)

The last thing I expected from Indie-films makers like Kukanoor was succumbing to Bollywood pressures and using one line introductions to a character. He also succumber to Hollywood pressure by taking a good thing and doubling it in the sequel. We had 2 dirty talking friends in HB1, we have 4 dirty talking friends in HB 2.

Then why are people raving about it so much?? Simple answer:


Whether you show it or you speak it, sex definetly sells. Hence you have long coversations about ravaging a hot-babe or declining sexual desires or the art of seduction. The defense will be that Nagesh (we're on first name terms now) touched "pertinent" issues. My answer is that Nagesh used it to draw more laughs. (keyword:used).

The first time I saw the movie I laughed. The second time I saw other people laugh. I was so quiet that my friend thought that I was sleeping.

(Damn these nature calls, I've lost the tempo of the above rant).

Nows the perfect time for me to plug Raghu Romeo. Truly entertaining flick. There are long monologues in the movie which are hellaciously funny without ever talking of sex. Believe it or not one scene has Raghu detailing the art of dipping a biscuit in tea which was funnier that the whole of HB2 put together.

Current Mood: Dismissive
Current Music: nope


Jasz on B-Grade Flicks

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 6 Jul 2004, 12:36pm
Unwilling to go home at 10 pm since it was too early, Popesmokesdope and me were looking for some place to eat. We had just come from Raghu Romeo at Prasad's where we had hogged throughout the movie. We were looking for a place that served inexpensive snacks.
We then had a brain wave and headed towards Venkatadri Theatre in Dilshuknagar.
At the start of each week, I mark out all the must-see-movies. This particular movie was marked simply because of it promised sleaze at its best. Movie's name is Mirchi.
A low-budget, late 90's action drama aka B-Grade chiller choot movie, this movie featured 12 hot babes in short skirts. But the sleaze never came. This ticked me off. PSD was ROFL at the song lyrics while I was ROFL at the acting skills. Or rather, the lack of any.
Midway between the movie, while I was talking myself into staying through till the end, I told myself this: "Jasz, this is what rural India lives on. Its a B-Grade grindhouse film".
The last two words reminded me of QT and his Love for the B-grade movie industry. Then I started looking at Mirchi in a different way. I saw a formulaic movie, that played to the directors strengths and delivered what it promised. No different from a Karan Johar movie is it? I started seeing every scene and situation as a parody of the big-budget flicks. The villains lair. The hero's ill fitting leather jacket. The heroine's non-contribution to the flick.
This kind of thinking did not help me like the movie, (it sucked - end of story) it made me think about Kill Bill Vol 1.
I see why some people did not like the movie. FOr all their faults these people do not know jack-shit about beautiful visuals. They dont pay attention to the dialogues except in scenes where the female seduces the male. They do not know that the violence was SUPPOSED to be funny.
This brings the focus back to film-freaks like me. Would I have liked the movie if it was made by anyone other than QT? Even if it resembled this one frame-to-frame? Maybe I would have praised the visuals but thats about it.
I wouldnt have watched it 9 times (only). I wouldnt have quoted it all over the place. I wouldnt have defended it so much. I wouldnt have discussed it with so many people in hope of understanding things that I didnt get yet.
Goes to show how strange movie fans can be. We laugh at people who like movies just because their favourite actor is in it and we go and do the same thing.

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: i hate having to choose one of those moods.


Jasz is Motivated

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 24 Jun 2004, 8:11am
God help the people who believe that doing a small motivational course can get you all the riches and happiness in your life.
If it really was a key to unlimited wealth and boundless happiness, why would it be priced at Rs 4999?
Worse still are the Amway salespeople who suddenly care about your performance in college and the ,ileage of your bike just because they want to have a personal meeting with you so that they can explain the plan to you. What a sham!!
During the meetings, as "beneficiaries" walk upto the stage to "share" their experience, I wonder if any of them had a happy life and yet joined and succeeded. Every single person talks about his boos kicked his ass, his children pestered him, his wife nagged and suddenly after spending 4999, he has the most fulfilling life there is.

Whatever happened to good ole luck and god's grace.

Then there are those after-meeting social exchanges which really get to me. The plastic smiles, the furious number-exchange jig, the forced expression of interest in your shirt color. Why?

Current Mood: Dismissive
Current Music: In Flames - Scorn



Jasz "The Spammer" A | 18 May 2004, 10:43pm

The last few days have been really boring on FullHyd. Except the Hitlist thread where the mods and a few of their aides fucked my happiness, all threads were but a blur to me.

Another awesome thread was the Kill Bill thread that I mentioned in the previous post. It is in threads like those that I think lies the essence of DB's. Not in the punk-ass "I am Srinivas and want to meet babes" threads that have invaded the boards.

People blame spammers like Azazel and me for the decreasing quality of the discussions. Atleast we keep the board moving. Look at the threads from 6 months ago, replies were posted 2days after the threads began

Another thing that really gets on my nerves are all these stoopid blogs that have been pretty active the last few days. Like I said earlier, who the FUCK wants to be a part of your misery. Are blogs all about writing shitass experiences of yours? Are blogs all about using 8+letter words and rants. These guys rant so much that it gives me a bonafide headache. I dont give a horse's ass if you can give gaalis to goondas on the roads. I dont care if you hate exams. I dont care if you have nothing in your head to write. Fuck all you boring baseless bloggers. And they called bloggin the next form of literature.

Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: none


Jasz is showing off

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 16 May 2004, 5:18am
Interesting thread about Kill Bill on the boards. Read all about it here. Kill Bill Thread

Current Mood: Itching For One
Current Music: none


My Grandpa

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 14 May 2004, 2:28pm
Being the grandson of a one-time TDP MLA, it is really disheartening to see the The Men in White back in power. The last time the Congw was in power was the last time that my Granpa was an MLA. Rajiv Gandhi's death caused Cong Supporters in our town to burn his house down. Dissilusioned, he quit politics. I am not aware of the money that he made from dirty deals but I do know that his sadness at this moment is unfathomable. The very men who brought the cans of petrol to burn the house are now rule the town. I dont know how true this CM is going to be, but I sure do hope God is watching.

Current Music: none


Jasz is Sorry

Jasz "The Spammer" A | 14 May 2004, 1:53pm

I apologise to Fallen Angel for my previous post. I was rude and annoying. I just pray that Fallen Angel doesnt perform a vasectomy on me or have me murdered by Azazel or GG2M

I'm going to see the INternational Space Station now, see ya in a while

Current Mood: Embarrassed
Current Music: none

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