I've been contemplating posting about the year gone by a lot of times in the past week. All kinds of thoughts have been floating in my head, questions as to where should I begin, how should I go about it, how much should I mention...blah blah. The problem with a predetermined blog is it remains that - a plan which is never executed. Balls, here I am, in all spontaneity.
Dec 30th 2004, 2:44AM. Payne's world. Wide awake.
Wide awake only 'coz of the extended nap in the evening. An year back on this day, I remember having one of my few personal conversations with a friend. I remember not being too senti then...:p Ah well, times change, ppls change. 2003 was an awesome year in all respects - I nearly died in a road accident, made one of the most significant friendships of my life, learnt to drive...but nothing when compared to 2004.
2004. Where do I begin? Going chronologically, the year started off with me slowly screwing up that friendship I've mentioned above. Painstakingly in front of my eyes, I saw everything crumble. *sigh* Left for Saarang, had a whale of a time....wait. This is not right. This is like the NDTV - The Year Gone By, A Review. No. This is my blog. Not a bloody factbook on my life. Vagueness we shall go for. Only one song playing in my cranial Winamp nowadays. Alanis Morrisette - Thank you. A lot to learn from the song. 2004, my year in verse.
how bout me enjoying the moment for once - Jan 2004, thank you Saarang. An experience in all its entirety, 6 days etched in d weird cave paintings in my mind. thank you free sms.
thank you disillusionment - feb 2004, never thought more about where my life was headed, never regretted more about where I'd brought my life to. spent a whole night wondering about opportunities gone...cried
thank you thank you silence - March to August 2004. for helping me grow up. for the worst times of this year. for making me think.
thank you consequence - for me ending up where i am right now...for all the choices seeming right...for me learnin to learn from yesterday, live for today and to dream for 2mro...for a job..:p
thank you fullhyd - May 2004. for this blog, for the DBs, for a space to voice my thoughts. for every other blog, for all the junta here. :D
thank you invisible angel - for all the rants, for all the madness, for all the weirdness, for listening...for bein wid me through d best part of 21 years of my life (can't help it can u? :p)...
thank you providence - for making our paths cross...for showing me that true love does exist...for clearing up a lot of shit in my head...for July 21st, 2004. for September 4th 2004, for fate laughing its head off at all the work, for a night I'll remember for a loong while (Carpe Diem 2004).
thank you clarity - for givin me sight. sight to look back on so much with a smile on my face and sight to look forward n take strength in what i hav now to face everything which life'll throw up. for friendships renewed.
thank you frailty - august 2004, realised the importance of life...the magnitude of death. shaken. This post is in Memory.
thank you hope.
thank you nothingness - for keeping my head lightheaded at all times...for Nov 21st 2004...:)
thank God - for reminding me time and again why it is that I do "believe", thank you faith.
thank you crackpot - for all the advice...for all the madfukk jokes...for makin the end of this year worth everything....for everything.
thank you Lifehouse, Evanescence, Floyd, Kal ho Na Ho and everyone else on Winamp - for providing the OST for this year..:)
thank you 2004 - for friends new and old, for fears untold, for hopes big and bold, for love unconditional, for so much to look back upon but more than anything, so much to look forward to. its been an enchanting journey these past 365 days (with 36 hrs still to go) and here's hoping that 2005 brings along just as much good if not more, there'll always be the downs but heck, utopia was always a boring concept for moi. :p
Senti enough for now.
Yappy noo yyeeeaaa phullhaaid!!
HAVE AN AWESOME NEW YEAR'S GUYS, GALS and those of the THIRD KIND!!!
and a prayer for all those affected by the Tsunami. R.I.P to those whose lives have been snuffed out... Hope and Faith to the lakhs of people who have to prevail through the despair and the hard times...This too shall pass. [-o< Hope that all of you out there have an equally great New Year, may 2005 bring with it joy and happiness boundless.
Grateful, hopeful, smiling.
Payne
Bidding farewell to 2004 with a quote borrowed from one of the most important blogs around here - "Someday, when we both reminisce, we'll both say, there wasn't too much we missed; and through the tears, we'll smile when we recall, we had it all, for just a moment. Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." - St.Elmo's Fire
Goodbye 2004, we had it all. :-)
Current Mood: Holy
Current Music: Eve6 - Heres to the night
30 Dec 2004, 2:22pm
aiyoo ...*sigh* its almost sad ..that too with the background music n all ..but so beautiful ...just goes to show that life has so much to offer ....
happy new year ! :-)
happily sad.
30 Dec 2004, 3:41pm
Thank you drp - for this heart-touching beautiful post.
30 Dec 2004, 5:07pm
Beautifil..absolutely beautiful post dude...fell in love with the manifold emotions in it..the pain..the struggle but with a thread of hope running thru always...hope 2005 brings you great happiness and luck...Happy New Year man..rock on!
30 Dec 2004, 5:40pm
offffffffooooooo....
30 Dec 2004, 5:48pm
saale! Computer Centre mein rulaatha hain saala. *@(*#&
was tellin FA i'm adopted :))
syko.
talk to y'chaps 2moro. out.
30 Dec 2004, 5:50pm
I really really really, and more really liked this one.
So fuckin much.
Poor lil invisible angel, she can't seem to worry enough for you. She is also learning to trust.
Sometimes you shine when you don't try. Brilliance is you today.
And you are such an ass, a dirty scumbag with smelly shoes and caveman kinda uncivilised behaviour.
Considering crushing you to dust in my arms. Which will happen. And I was there, I am so happy.
Do you even know that you have the most hopeful year ahead? How do you even know sleep at night? Doesn't the happiness choke you?
I hate you. Forever shine.
30 Dec 2004, 5:54pm
here's to a better 2005 for you than my really awesome 2002+2003 combo...or for that matter...my 2004. here's wishin the same for me :p
amazed_at_the_grace.
syko.
30 Dec 2004, 6:06pm
here's to a better 2005 for you than my really awesome 2002+2003 combo...or for that matter...my 2004. here's wishin the same for me :p
amazed_at_the_grace.
syko.
30 Dec 2004, 8:44pm
@hs : oh darlingu...first one to comment n all dat...:D it ain't sad per se, its more melancholic i'd like to say...coz i really big words..:D happy new year to u too! :-) n yes I am in the Top 5..:D
@Blogger : hehehe..totally welcome...:D
@Anil : We should form ourselves a Mutual Admiration Society..:p well atleast dats wat a friend o mine said..:p thanks for all d words man, everywhere....;-)...Happy New Year to you too! rocking on! have a great 2005!
@syko : since wen did U get senti n all dat? :p n i thot i was d one who was adopted?! :-S gaad dis is confoozin, bluddy fisherman's tales i tell u...[-x have a kick-arse 2005 urself dipshit...:D go places, but not too far away n all dat...:D
@fa : KREEGAHH !! BIGGG COMMMENT ON DRP's BLOG! :D those are smelly floaters! :-L me hairy cavemen, me can't help it. :| why the f_kk u gettin violent on me? :| not so much happiness angelsan, simply a lot of hope..lot to be done still...:D me gessin the easy part is jus over, now begins life....:D Love you too. Forever shine sounds like a shoe polish ad..:p go doctah! :D have a bluddy good 2005 urself i say...have off! :p
30 Dec 2004, 8:50pm
aawww >:D<
thanx for the new frnds thanx for uuuuu
30 Dec 2004, 11:49pm
awesome post man,touche.
have a rockin' 2005!!!!!!
peace,
vp
31 Dec 2004, 9:49am
Bitch.
I can't compete with this!
Here...take off...No.4. Heh heh.
Like Razor Ramon handed Shawn Michaels the world heavyweight title in 1996 (97?), after one of the most entertaining matches evah.
From Neurotron to Payne, for his help with the Machine : 1 blessing from the heart.
I got something in my eye...
*turns away*
31 Dec 2004, 4:09pm
I'm sure you got on the first page vonly because I deleted my blog.
Ha!
Yenniways, hope you have a more amazing year than this one.
Also hope you wear lesser pink. Or burgundy.
*Flees before fa comes with what's wrong with pink speech*
1 Jan 2005, 8:09pm
thnku drp.
read it a lil late, but this was simply great!
have an amazin year....:)
1 Jan 2005, 10:52pm
hey there! happy new year :) ...n PG meet.. u tol me so late :|...hehe..anyway, how'd it go?
2 Jan 2005, 1:08am
@whg : totally welcome...thank u back to u...;) happy new year to you too...
@vp : yaar...refresh my memory plzzz...this is torture..who is vp? :( hav a rockin 2005 urself...as good as it can get and some more than that. :D
@Neuro : Now don't I remember having a lil tussle abt a certain No.5 post long ago? When you gave away the title thanks to a certain "Road" post? :D Is that a tear in ur eye boi? :D Hope u had a kikass New Year's eve..:D
@Sita : Dint wear lesser pink. started off wearing a pink shirt...:D but shall try too..:-" hope ur year kiks some major butt this time...:p
@Dawn : Have a great year u too..:-) thank u too.
@Nabzz : Yappy Noo Yeeah!! sorry for da late comment..:"> i'd thot of inviting u loooong ago...saaal complete bhool gaya..:-? chalo next time...it was great tho i cudn't hang out for long...u can catch up on it @PG.
5 Jan 2005, 1:00am
**drunk as a sailor**
Yaaaay 2004...2004 yaaaay... yay yay 2004.. ya 200-
**drops stoned on the floor**
hic!
5 Jan 2005, 9:33am
nee yabbba...happy noo yeeaa to u too...:|