Ecstatic Failure

Think it over

Goodbye My Lover

rock_26iin | 22 September, 2007 00:20

Life has been reasonably good to me, except one facet. This blog has been dedicated to that facet of my life and I thought it was over, but life just has this amazing uncanny ability to turn full circle and hit you in the face. And what I am left with is yet another bitter-sweet memory.....

I had the most amazing time of my life with you. It was the most gorgeous period of my life. And the effect that had on me when it ended was drastic. I changed a lot in a short period of time and had one goal in mind, to have you return. I know that person did stupid things but now I am returning to my usual, reasonably happy self. Though I am afraid that that me acted a little too horribly with you. Things just went downhill too much, too fast. And I have apologized but according to you things cannot go back to the way they were, though I honestly believe that they can.

I will still love you and I wish you find someone who will keep you happier than I could ever have. Though I honestly don't believe someone like that exists. I hope you find someone who will give you more than I ever could or would. And again, I don't believe such a person exists. All I want to say is, I hope you have a happy life ahead, with or without me. While I would definitely prefer it be with me, I cannot force you into something you do not want, can I?

The worst part of all this, is that I never as much as held you in my arms, never as much as kissed your lips, never caressed your face, never loved you the way I wanted to. Do I feel regret? Yes, I do. Do I still want you back? Yes, more than you realize. Will I keep you happy? Yes, more than you are willing to believe. But ultimately, I want to see you happy. Go ahead and have it without me, but just remember me once in a while. Just think about me and remember our time together and smile. Thats what I ultimately want from you, one smile. I know its not right to ask you to forget the things I did, but I will ask you anyway, don't remember the pain I caused but please remember the love I gave you.

Goodbye my lover. Take care of yourself and memories of me. I know I am doused in memories of you at the moment. I am going away but not moving on. I will never love someone the way I loved you. I will never let anyone know me the way you did and I will never know anyone the way I knew you. I love you and truly wish you all the best of luck for all your future endeavors. To me, you are still the sweetest part of my short life so far. And this is the bitter part, having to say goodbye. But as I said, I am returning to my normal self and accepting facts when they come my way.

Sleep in peace, wake with the morning sun knowing you are capable of winning the world. Wake knowing that there is one person whose heart will always be your home. And with that, go forth into the day, and destroy your worries and obstacles, and triumph over your greatest fears, troubles and tribulations. So what if we are a couple of thousand miles away? Love is more than just an emotion, it is something much stronger than just that...but I digress.

Final words to you my Queen, take care of Elysium, it is your responsibility now. I have renounced it and am walking the paths an ascetic. Ale and bread tastes sweeter when its won with physical labour. And labour does give direction to the pain. I will live through the memories of you. The Kingdom I am leaving in your care. Just make sure the King you pick is worthy of the throne. I haven't been for a while now and according to you, I should not return when I believe I am. And I will comply. I may send you tidings of my journeys and my feelings, please accept them and do not hate me for reminding you of me. You are still The Elysian Queen, though I am not the King anymore. My crown I place at your feet, my heart, though I cannot rip it out, in essence belongs to you. Take care of it for me.

"In my arms an angel lies
With luscious lips and gorgeous eyes
A soothing grace, a gentle touch
A heart that just loves SO much

In my arms an angel lay
But now she's gone far away
Far, far away..."

Just so you know, I will NEVER stop loving you.

Love you



[No Subject]

pingu | 06/12/2007, 14:01

this is a pretty good post.
its sappy and corny as hell , but i like it.

Re: Goodbye My Lover

Kaiku | 17/05/2008, 14:48

Hi Rocky, I just read this post and felt really sad. Wish you have all that you "wish".


Madhumita | 16/11/2008, 00:03

i did not knew someone could feel the pain and love just the way i did. i wish she comes back ...because thats the only way you can be happy and you deserve her more than anyone.

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