12 Aug 2004

Memories still remain...

Posted by Divakar in General | 6:08pm

It was dark, cold and annoyingly beautiful. Sitting on a bench at the st. kilda beach, i lit a cigarette. The cold wind across my face  blew the smoke all around. For some reason, the ocean was... silent, quiet, dead as a wood; like a child sleeping in her mothers arms, innocent, beautiful!!

The only light that was visible, was coming from a distant ship, like a heart beat, a pulse. What was i doing there? Waiting for the sun to rise? Hoping for a bright force of light, a better tomorrow? The silence and the darkness around was killing me. Went there anticipating a wild ocean, water splashing all over my facefrom an angry tide, just to realise that those wild angry tides were buried deep inside of me. I see a couple walking by, probabaly in their fifties, wrinkle faced, slow walkers; 'lonely' can never be the word, iam always surrounded by people, but tonight, something's missing, something different, something haunting.

That smile flashes on my mind again. Fresh as a dew on a green leaf, like an addiction which has no rehabilitation, like the smell of the sand before the rain. I feel the moist in my eyes, i can see the pulse of the ship no more. Total darkness, a fear i always carried around me, like a halo, the darkness of the past.

I take a quick look around, "a stranger in Melbourne", and i start wandering aimlessly.

Parting ways has never been easy. It looked like a journey with no destination, without her. Truth is always stranger that the fiction, and the truth is that the past looks like a fiction, unbelievable!!

I wrote to her several times, expecting a post- mortem, a few unanswered questions. "Why did this happen to us?" "Us?", "there has never been and never will be 'Us' anymore. Its high time you realise it. I had a past, which i could not forget, Iam sorry for what i have done to you". Game, set and match!!

I always realised that words could influence, but i was late to realise how they could tear one apart, probably thats what is called "killing softly". Well, those words were said a few years ago, all said and done, and i moved on with my life. But i could sometimes feel that hang over, the uneasiness and the memories still remain.....

Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Music: Pink Floyd- comfortably numb

4 Comments | "Memories still remain..." »

  1. By Portuguese Man-Of-War

    12 Aug 2004, 7:08pm [ Reply ]

    The opposite sex is God's greatest weapon against humankind. What would He do without it?

  2. By Anil

    12 Aug 2004, 7:58pm [ Reply ]

    Dude...a grand welcome. Phew this place is getting full of people I know!! And nice post man..I liked it a lot. I see that you are still clinging a little to the past.(Perhaps a little more polishing would have rounded it off). But one piece of advice if you don't mind...please pay more attention to grammar and punctuation. That will make your writing much better and enjoyable.

  3. By Neurotron

    13 Aug 2004, 4:40pm [ Reply ]

    Et tu, Diva? :-D
    As he said, welcome! Change of place works very well man...I hope Melbourne works as well for you as London did for me...

  4. By rainmaker

    13 Aug 2004, 9:39pm [ Reply ]

    divakar, bhool ja..

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