men beware

Saw my shrink today. He is Nuts. Well, that's his name. Phil Nuts (not to be mistaken for the Dr Phil from the Oprah Winfrey show. That one is just nuts) . Just imagine if his name was Macadamian Nuts! His clinic is very tastefully (yeah, right!!) called "Couch Potato". Yes, he has some issues and, he has a shrink.

So he tells me, "Appleby, you will always shine". Well, helloo! Gloss finish, not matte. Duh! says that right on me! Brilliant, just BRILLIANT Doc! Can't believe I pay him 5000 bucks an hour for this dazzling display of genius. But anyway, this dude is quite like that wack job Ally McBeal had for a shrink just before she met Robert Downey Junior. And that explains why I keep going to him - in the hope of meeting a RD Jr. Sigh...I am an incorrigible optimist.

We tried hypnosis today. And it was cool. At the end of it I had him convinced he was a blood sucking Leach (Oh u didnt think i'd let him hypnotise me, did u?). And you know what he tells me? "Thank You". So I explained to him that I meant the animal and that it wasn't supposed to be a remark comlimenting his ability to really fleece people! By Jove! just the nerve of that guy...! Incase anyone really wants to know, he promptly snapped out of the trance.

Speaking of which, John Keats still sends me into that trance! It should be against the law to write so beautifully!

Current Music: First Touch