What's in a name?

The concept of the yoyo, a small insignificant something on the end of a string that is thrown and then pulled back for pleasure, is so common in so many ancient cultures that it is difficult to determine its origin. It is believed, however, to have originated in China, thousands of years ago. Regardless where it originated from, the toy with a big kick for all ages and with a constant break-out of fads has endured. The graph of the yoyo's history would mimic the path of the toy itself, finding peaks and lows many times over the course of the last century.

The word yoyo is a Tagalog word, the native language of the Philippines, and means 'come back.' So even the word itself means coming back, which evokes going away in the first place, possibly in circles. (vicious ones?)

Our minds with their thoughts and our feelings are a bit like that too, constantly moving back and forth, sometimes fluctuating, sometimes within circles, remaining in one, pulling from the other or getting stuck or hung up, dwelling...

No wonder we feel like a yoyo sometimes or as if we were on a roller coaster. Feeling constant shifts, pulls, and entanglements. Not just our minds I am afraid. Sometimes we become a yoyo ourselves, one day up and one day down, allowing someone or something to pull our string, hurl us downwards, yank us up again.

Guess the yoyo craze that is going around has hit me too. No! I am not a masochist by nature but to finally cut the string is such a huge move or is it?

next to myself
you are my biggest challenge

passions? many
desires? deep
unsettling
unnerving
unconventional

you used to see
not only with your eyes
but from within

you loved me
hated me
remembered me
reminded me

you're here
you're gone
you're back
again
vicious circle

emotions encouraged
again
ones I forgot I had
not all good
not all bad
but all endurable

what's in store for us?
not what I thought
maybe not what I wanted
I trust it'll be exactly what you need

connected by lifetimes
many disjointed
by superficial perceptions
by commanding obstructions
nevertheless
you can't leave me
I can't leave you
 
physically or not
you are always here
rooted inside of me
deep
safe
where no one else can see
or understand
the depths of our connection

love has been paused
redefined
restored
only to be paused
and restored again
and again
and again

is it time to stop the struggle
and accept the moment?