12 Jul 2004

Watch-Only $10.000

Posted by No-man in General | 8:43pm


Was looking at the cost of the watch and it appeared that it was $10. And was thinking why there are 3 zeros after the DOT and...... why is watch placed as a show piece, when $10 is very ordinary. As i approached the watch, the DOT became a COMA !!!

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: :-))

6 Jul 2004

Shit

Posted by No-man in General | 11:45pm


My colleague drinks a lot of water, probably more than 3 liters in office itself. i was curious and i asked, "how many times do you go to toilet?"

 

..........said, "ek ya dho bar hagga mar tha hoon".....now, how is drinking more water related to shit-ing once or twice !!



Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: !?!?!

5 Jul 2004

As u sow, so u reap

Posted by No-man in General | 3:58pm


I went to a restaurant 10 days back and when i was paying the bill, i realised that they have charged only 25$ when it should been 50$. i told them and paid 50$.

 

Yesterday, i went to a restaurant and they charged me 225$, when it should have been only $175. I was almost paying it when i suddenly realized, "it shouldn't be that high" !! so, i got it corrected and paid $175.

Now, i feel, had i not paid that 25$ previously, i would have lost 50$ yesterday !! GOD is seeing everything !!



Current Mood: Happy Indeed!
Current Music: :-)

2 Jul 2004

PhD

Posted by No-man in General | 1:46am


What PHD Really Stands For:


P h D
Patiently hoping for a Degree
Piled higher and Deeper (after BS = Bull..., MS = More of the Same...)
Professorship? hah! Dream on!
Please hire. Desperate.
Physiologically Deficient
Pour him (or her) a Drink
Philosophically Disturbed
Probably headed for Divorce
Pathetically hopeless Dweeb
Probably heavily in Debt
Parents have Doubts
Professors had Doubts
Pheromone Deprived
Probably hard to Describe
Patiently headed Downhill...
Permanent head Damage
Pulsating heaving Disaster?
Pretty homely Dork
Potential heavy Drinker
Professional hamburger Dispenser... "Would you like fries with that?"
Professional hair Dresser
Piano hauling Done
Pizza Hut Driver
Pretty heavily Depressed
Prozac handouts Desired
Pretty heavy Diploma
Pathetic homeless Dreamer
Protect Horney Dogs

 

This is a CCP job.

 



Current Mood: Amazed
Current Music: !!

1 Jul 2004

My sister s boyfriend

Posted by No-man in General | 10:40pm


They used to go to college together, take the same bus and walk into the campus together. Once in campus, they tell me that they never talk to one-another. And when the college finished, they met each other and walked back to the bus-stop to take the same bus.

This happened every day, every year.  After graduating, my sis went to college to collect her degree, one of those few time he was not there..........and a stranger comes to her and the conversation goes........

Stranger: hello Ms.........

Sis: Do i know u?

Stranger: i am from so and so class

Sis: Oh !

Stranger: Your boy-friend did not come ?

Sis: My boy-friend ?!

Stranger: He......Mr.......

Sis: damn it !! he's my brother !! 



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: !!

1 Jul 2004

Are you a ........?

Posted by No-man in General | 9:35pm


When i was in High School in India, people used to ask me .......Which college ? i used to get upset and later got used to it.

I am abroad and as my company's food almost always sucks, we go to the nearby university for lunch. One-day a girl asked me at the beginning of a semester......

Are you a freshmen ? Orientation is this way....

 ...... when i finished my bachelors long ago.......



Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: :-))

1 Jul 2004

What do they mean ?

Posted by No-man in General | 8:03pm


I met them for the first time, my neighbours kids...... and they said, 'Hello Uncle'......time passed and they started calling me 'Anna'.....

Today they said 'Orey *****'

does that mean, they are not respecting me or....does that mean they consider me 'one among them'.....whatever, i prefer to say that 'they consider me as one among them'

 



Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Aerosmith-crazy !!

30 Jun 2004

Do u want?

Posted by No-man in General | 4:38pm


It was a holiday and after a good lunch, we were watching TV and relaxing. I heard a knock on the door and opened it. There was this girl with several packets on a tray and she asked me "Do u want it?", i thought that somebody is really stupid to send a little girl to sell their goods and said, "No".

I closed the door and sat on the couch........and my friend said, "She's our neighbour and she came to distribute sweets, today is Idd"



Current Mood: Embarrassed
Current Music: !!

30 Jun 2004

Amma Chai

Posted by No-man in General | 2:16am


T......people live on T and i belong to the same ghetto. Morn and evening, and when-ever possible, a single T and ek chinna gold-flake.......thats the life as it used to be while i was in bachelors. The canteen used to close at 6pm and if u wanted to have a cup of T, we are expected to go to Mamu' stall. hardly any one liked Mamu's T which was officially @ the cafe on campus and the T sucked big time. he was prolly competing for the Top Slot in "Worst ever Tea" with Indian Railways. Mamu's T faced tough competition from Amma Chai, the unofficial icon of our campus. It's said, if u drink T and are not an Amma Chai regular, ur not an ***ian.

 

At the end of the campus, where there used to be a gate (now closed) Amma Chai fluorished and the closing of the gate meant diaster for her business. Still, people love Amma Chai for her Single chai and chinna gold-flake.

As we approched the wall, we shouted, Amma: Char Single and char Chinna.......and a few minutes later she came to the wall and said "baap" and we used to climb on to the tree to collect our order and pay the money, and she used to bring the change when we returned the cups....and if it was her son, he used to jump into the campus and collect the cups.

 

I hear that for the same reasons the gate was closed a few yrs ago, ............... the wall was raised and a metal wire (previously cut-down) put in place.  I only hope that my fellow mates have cut down the wire, else shud i discuss with the alumni association to replace Mamu with Amma Chai......after all, its the question of protecting our unofficial icon.



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: :-(

29 Jun 2004

She said Hello

Posted by No-man in General | 8:37pm


My neighbour's daughter is beautiful. Yes, she is a beauty. Morning/evening, she used to stop at our door for a instant, so that she could peep inside our house.......i wonder y she used to do this and before we could say 'Hello' she used to go away.......

 

Time passed, a year or more and we friends used to talk about this girl....and finally she talked one day.....ah !! she talked.......it was something like a rain in a desert, we hardly talked to girls.........we were so happy that she talked to us..........she said, "Hello, i am three years old already".



Current Mood: Triumphant
Current Music: :-)

29 Jun 2004

The Kid

Posted by No-man in General | 1:18am


I was in university and was practicing for the inter-college/university cricket competition. I am a fast bowler and there were other bowlers who were practicing simultaneously along with me. There was this young fellow (i later realised that its my junior) about 5feet tall and fat (more than u wud expect for a sportsperson) and was wearing a sweater at about 35C, :shock:



Current Mood: Embarrassed
Current Music: !!

28 Jun 2004

Nike Shoes

Posted by No-man in General | 10:00pm


I bought a pair of Gray-Nicholls shoes and I was very happy with the purchase. Probably for the first time ever, I was feeling like I am a professional cricket player, though I have represented my school and university and company cricket teams, i never felt better. The next day was a 35 over match and two wickets off 7 overs was a decent performance :( and we lost :( and in the end that



Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: ?
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