Fear The Wrath Of The Black Wizard

Sex, drugs, rock and roll. A very jolly combination. Always fun. You slip in your Floyd cd and set the volume to a considerably high decibel level. You then look for your favourite track off the album Wish You Were Here. The music engulfs the room. You light up a joint before Gilmour

Stoned, blown, smashed, high, zonked(my favourite), smoked out, lit, ting ting ti ting, pfft and the likes. The preceeding series of terms are synonymous with the feeling which is assosiated with smoking a certain five leaved herb, very fondly known as maryjane.

Clouds turn into bugs bunny, lollypops, Saladin's turban, a B.C. Warlock, which is one of my favourite guitars, and even Gandalf's beard. PING!

The neon sign which says 'NIAGRA' seems appealing and trippy.Hunger is the feeling of the moment, but i remember that my wallet is devoid of a certain bit of paper with bapuji's shiny and trippy bald head printed on it. Overanalysis hapenning... not good... PING!

I get back home, switch on the idiot box, surf through channels and shite!!! Are the flouroscent green channel numbers trippy or what!!! Flick... 27... flick... 28... flick 29... flick...30... flick flick flick. Multiple Flicking Disorder... PING!

I now dare myself to push myself to the limit. To do the unthinkable. To do what no sane man has done before. To take up a mamoth task, a challenge challenge rather, so impossible, so bizarre, so... so... shite... I lost my train of thought... PING!

Aiyyo, what was i saying? Cant remember... ah yes... so bizarre that jaws would drop and eyeballs would pop out. The task is to watch the KEkta Kapoor soap called Kashish or Kapish or something as insignificant as the male chatacters in her soaps. Kashish walks in. My sister tells me her eyes are pretty. I beg to differ. Her eyes , if you please, are trippy. They were blue a second ago. Now they turn pink, now green and now red. Notice how the retina turns purple. Now it looks like the fiery eye of Sauron which glares at me with utmost scorn. Damn... If looks could kill! PING!

To comprehend the intricate(???) storyline, i realise, is futile. Apparently some dude is some old fart's bastard, a result of sleeping with some page three slut. Everybody knows how bastards come into being, so take lite. And then, from nowhere, Tulsi walks into Kashish's room. PING!

Confusion prevails.

The next thing I remember is a butterscotch cornetto. Where it came from i know not, but, it definitely is in my hand and I sinking my teeth into it. I trace the path of the cold blob of ice cream but i lose track of it somewhere between the oesophagus and... well... some other part of my oesophagus. Kreegah!

I now try to play my Doors CD but the player is being a biyatch... I later realise that it is a cup holder... Double PING!

I walk onto the lush green lawn... the gardner has done his job well... I see pearls, tiny pearls glittering... ... the sight is... well... trippy. The sky is tinged(yes... tinged) with Cadbury's Gems. Bond... Gems Bond... (Zonked I say!). Ah... what a beautiful day.

INFERENCE: In life, everything is beautiful because it is trippy.

I read this somewhere- The song In A Gadda Da Vidda by Iron Butterfly, later cover by Slayer on Undisputed Attitude, was actually supposed to be 'In The Garden Of Eden'. The singer was smashed beyond recognition, hence 'In A Gadda Da Vidda'... PING!

You’ve had a rough day. The heat is unbearable. Your bike is being a bitch like your ex, your mom is pissed at you for no apparent reason and your dad is in town, closely monitoring and analyzing each and every move you make. Not good. Not good at all. So what is it that you do to get your mind off all this? Simple. You slip in you favourite assorted songs CD. Jazz, blues, metal, virtuoso stuff… you name it and its on the disk. Here is The Black Wizard’s playlist… overplayed list rather…

We start off with the mellow stuff first and at number 10 is:

Manhattan- Eric Johnson. Composer and guitarist beyond par. Finger picking has been EJ’s unique style with his tendencies of drifting into jazzy tunes with a very ‘soothing’ bluesy sound. Manhattan is one such example of Eric Johnson’s composing abilities.
I know I know… All you pseudo rockers who are wondering why the only EJ song you’ve heard, Cliffs Of Dover, isn’t on the playlist can go screw yourself. I know Cliffs of Dover is another example of EJ’s brilliance but its not on my playlist so sod off.

Onward to track 9:

Perpetual Burn- Becker is GOD. Period. No questions asked. Marty Friedman's friend and the the other half of the Becker-Friedman tag team in the aptly named band- Cacophony. One listen to the song and you're like, “What the fuck? Is that even possible? Does he have ten fingers on each hand?” Monster arpeggios with psycho half bends and other weird technical stuff I don’t know jack shit about. Killer speed and melody can be a deadly combo. A perfect example of psycho guitar playing.

Track 8…:

For The Love Of God: The name Vai is synonymous with what I like to call ‘Madar chodd guitarist’. Everybody knows Steve Vai. So I’m going to leave all the ‘praise be to Vai’ to the readers.

And now we have a change in genre… hard rock… and in 7th place is:

Sailing Ships: Whitesnake has boasted of one of the strongest band lineups and musicians. Vai, Lord, Sykes and Cozy Powell to name a few. David Coverdale is my one of my favourite singers. Let me rephrase- I’m a Coverdale fanatic. Good lyrics and a great solo make this song a great listen.

Number 6(66)… dayumm… I just love cheap thrills… ahem… sorry:

Sothis: Death fucking metal! And the name synonymous with awesome death metal is Vader. European. Polish. GAWD!!! The Intro is one of the best I’ve heard. The ritual starts from here. Heads bang, necks snap and dandruff flies in the air. With a killer shout-growl, crazy blast beats and very (un)pleasing trem work Vader is arguably one of the best in the business of moshing and making metal heads mosh.

Number 5:

Rapture: “Confront me unholy ones…bastard saints scorn of the earth…I summon thee now poison me…Death under will burn in my soul” growls Dave Vincent.
One of my favourite Angel songs with the high Priest of DM, Trey Azagthoth’s(don't you dare start with the pronunciation of the his last name!) signature weird solos and Sandoval's insane drumming and Vincent's satanic barking. Vincent later quit to join his wife's porn metal band called Genitorturers(WTF???) and later came out with the Evil D signature bass guitars. Why did I mention this? General knowledge you fucking pseudo bum!

Onward to number 4:

Defenestration: It takes a little time for you to register what hit you. Then the feeling sinks in. A Sonic Boom. There is a fine line between brilliance and sheer madness. Don’t know on which side to place Mounier and the boys from Cryptopsy. A death metal love song. The guy loves her so much that he wants to smash her through a glass window. Talk about violent passion, something which a few of us can relate to. Lord’s Worm’s growls are deep and totally indecipherable. Mounier’s drumming is… well… unbelievable as usual. And that’s an understatement.

Number 3:

Unas The Slayer Of Gods: Nile!!! Armed with an attack of three growlers and the one and only Tony Laureano on drums. The insane Sanders and Toler-Wade tag team is probaby the best in the DM scene today. One has to listen to believe. These guys push metal to the limit. Drawing inspiration form Ancient Egypt, which is pretty obvious since they call themselves Nile, the band is as brutal as brutal death metal can get

TWO:

Deliverance: An another extreme(in a different sense) death metal band. Probably the Dream Theater of DM. Hence the genre 'progressive death metal'. Mikel Akerfeld’s compositions have very different shiftings from clean to distortion and clean vocals to a very killer death growl. Off time drumming… awesome guitar solos… and a gripping and prolonged(in a positive sense) outro.

Note to the pseudo rocker: Solos aren’t all about speed, biyatch!!!

And Finally, Numero Uno!:
I am The Black Wizards: A note to the pseudo rocker before i begin: Shut up you fucking whore… its not a typo… there is an ‘s’ in ‘Wizards’… ahem… cheap thrills… I know… Ah… what can be said about Ihsahn and Emperor, The pioneer black metal band from Norway. Here is a very popular equation... not very mathematical though-European bands=Great Music. This song is more like an anthem with Ihsahn’s piercing shrieks, lovely guitar work… melody melody melody… yep… its all there. Watch the Live Emperial Ceremony to see what I'm talking about.

Songs which almost made it to the list:

1.Demon of the fall- Opeth
2.She is the dark- My dying Bride
3.Bleak- Opeth. I tried to control myself but I guess I've succumbed to the pressure of being an ardent fan and a staunch believer of the 'institution' known as Opeth. Bleak... words fail me. Steve Wilson from Porcupine Tree is featured on this track contributing guitar and vocals. Damn trippy guitar solo... over nine minutes of melodic madness. But hey, isnt that what Opeth all is about?
4. As above so below- Behemoth
5. Black Seeds On Virgin Soil- Old Man's Child

Note to the pseudo rocker: Bands like Cynic, Athiest, Fates Warning,Incantation,Cannibal Corpse,Arch nemy,Carcass,Suffocation,Death,Slayer,Testament, and the likes have been deliberatelty left out because they aren’t for random listening. Bands of such high stature demand respect, the listener's undivided attention and are ‘full album listening material’. Well, that’s ifff you’ve heard of these bands.

Merry Moshing!

Why is it that sometimes you feel that your dreams have been shattered even before they started to materialise? Why is it that sometimes even after giving everything you

        My folks are back in town from Riyadh and me is happy... vhhhhhurry happy! Got to see my dad nearly after a year and damn he hasn't changed a bit! Those typical Arabian looks...high cheek bones, a well defined nose, keen and peircing eyes, sporting a well trimmed beard. Always smiling, always laughing and always friendly.

        He's always been there for me. Through the good times and bad times, through the thick and thin . Always supportive, always encouraging and always inspiring. I love you dad! Welcome home!!!

          Exams are just around the coner and i havent started studying seriously.This is something which happens everytime. I always tell myself, "Beta BW, you had better start studying or else saale tu toh gaya!" I have been lucky many times when it come to exams but then i know that sometime...sooommmetime my luck is bound to run out.

           I've made a lot of hasty and unwise decisions. Took studies lightly---got my arse kicked, trusted the wrong people got myarse kicked, fell for the wrong females---got my arse kicked yet again(I know that thats a lot of BW-getting-hi-arse-kicked sessions but aah...whatever). And whenever this happened I thought of turning over a new leaf(Technically, i've thought of doing this a gazillion times but i just couldnt do it). Once bitten twice shy...naaah, I think I should be saying once bitten twice WHY?!  Kyon? Kaiku? Its like my friend Subhash who always tells me,with much disgust of course, "Fucker, you'll never learn!" But you know what, this is how i am...no...this is WHO I am!

           The fear of being used... this has happened to me quite a few times and trust me, it feels fucking bad. It feels horrible when u realise that you've been had. The symptoms: Disbelief, wanting not to believe that you have been had and then, depression after you start believing, which in most cases happens to be true.

             Oh well, I think i had better put a lid on my rona-dhona. BW shall always be BW! So like i always say...Laaaaait!!!

         This is a song i wrote when i went through shit. Its a long story better left untold. I guess most of the DB users know about it. A few friends and I formed a Prog Metal band and i thought using this song for an own composition would definitely not be a bad idea. A slow riff with an acoustic section and melancholic keys might just do the trick. I havent thought of a title yet, but anyway, here goes:

From where she came, he does not know.
A heady scent and a fair glow.
In an instant she cast a spell,
Perhaps the Lady of Rivendell.

Struck with awe,
Mute with glee.
Surreal awakening,
Or destiny.

Her laughter, of chirping birds,
Her voice, of a gentle stream.
Her touch, of a delicate dove,
In her eyes an innocent gleam.

He looks in bewilderment,
A sight of exquisite beauty.
He longs for her love,
Hoping against destiny.

Her tresses, dark they shone,
In the mystique of the twilight.
Her silken hands revive memories from afar.
Her radiant skin, sun the morning star.

From where she came, he does not know,
A heady scent and a fair glow.
He longs for her love, hoping against destiny,
Chained by fate, alas misery and a long wait.

Its one of those days when you get multiple KLPDs. Just when you think things can't get any worse...BAM...another KLPD! Am i the only one withe the Multiple KLPD Syndrome here? For all those who have just tuned in, Jasz, Johnny and The Black Wizard have been banned from the DBs. Thats right banned as in kicked out, shown the door, about turn...forward march and the likes, allegedly for violating the sanctity of the discussion boards (pun intended).
The mods have charged us under Section 302 of the FHPC: &^%$^&^$#@^* meaning the Use of Explicit Language, Embarrassing The Moderators and Blah Blah Blah.

While I can have the "I Dont Give A Flying Fu*k" attitude about it like my fellow conspirators namely Jasz and Johnny, I choose not not to. This is so bluddy distressing. You incur the wrath of the mods just for posting something silly?

Let me make one thing crystal clear, i had nothing to do with cursefest with the three stooges...OMG!!! did i just say stooges? I meant the three sisters. I have nothing against them but i aint fond of them either!

I am soo bluddy pissed I cant think of anything to write! While my rant can go on and on like the endless K serials, I think i had better put a lid on it.

OUT!

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