Ain't Life Strange???

Last night, a frend of mine died in a motor vehicle accident. Had a head on collision with a large vehicle. He'd bot the bike recently. Just abt 3 weeks back.

There was another guy with him, as a pillion rider. He got off 10 feet before this happ. And worse, saw this happen right in front of him. Hes in a terrible state of shock, I am told.

Makes me think abt things like fate and destiny...

I shudder to think abt his parents... He wasnt from AP. Finally after the post-mortem today, they flew his body to his home-town.

I am quiet an avid biker, love riding fast. But finding it very diff to cross 35kmph since yesterday.

When we drive why do we forget that its not just us, but our family and frends who will equally be at loss.

Still unable to think coherently. Just putting down whatever is coming to my mind.

Hate it when things turn out like this.

May god rest his soul in peace. Amen.

Had this :hic: sudden crazy :hic: urge to blog, :hic: but have absolutely no :hic: clue what to write :hic: . :) :) :) :) Has this ever happened to you?

Right now I am drinking "original" Port Wine from Goa. And man, it is fantastic. The adv of having a Goan as a roomy! :D

Just waiting for the stroke of midnight, its my 2nd roomy's budday. So organised a small surprise budday party for him. :) Aint I the nicest frend to have! Thankq thankq! :)

 Just finished my 3rd glass, so plz excuse me! :)

Tata, Good night. :)

On one of my previous posts dawn had mentioned that she is in the habit of writing notes and can communcate better thro the notes rather than in person.

So moi also decided to give that a try...

Last week I wrote 2 notes to venus. and I must say that it does help quiet a lot! Its like blogging. Only diff being that I write only stuff that I wanna tell her... And also a few things that I cant put in a blog, but wanna tell her. Ok ok!!! hold ur train of thot! :) Not putting in the blog only so that I dont reveal my identity in the process :)

Anyways, I dont know if I will give her those notes, or for that matter even tell her abt them, but somehow putting my thots on paper helped me quiet a bit...

Try it out guys n gals. It helps! :)

Got to know yesterday that Bonus has been declared by my co. and tht I got a decent sum. :-D Also today I got my tickets booked to Delhi by Deccan Air. Normally it costs me 3700 bucks one way, that too Apex fares. But Deccan air costed me 3600 bucks round trip. :-D

So financially, am pretty happy today! :-p

That got me thinking... And I can say that on the whole, August has been one of the best months in the recent past. For one, I did not let my past haunt me too much. And I get to see Venus lot lot more often than previously. Things r gng very well professionally. My NGO work is gng even better.

And the best of them all is: This Blog! :-D

Really guys, I started bloggin at the beg of this month, and on an avg, I have been blogging every 2-4 days. And this when I NEVER EVER thot I will blog. I saw so many ppl starting to blog and never understand how cud they put up something so intimate for public consumption. I just wasnt comfy with the idea of someone else getting to know my thots and feelings. But now thats the very thing that draws me to blogging! :) That nobody I know, personally, is reading this. I am sure the anonymity is a great factor.

Kinda like they say there's a very thin line between Love n Hatred.... Ok ok. Bad Analogy. Bad Bad Bad Analogy! But u get the drift, dontcha?

Now I feel I shud have started earlier.  :-( Chalo, der aaye durust aaye. :-)

Hope these wonderful times continue...

p.s. I am listening to Osibisa? Have any of heard them? They are an African Tribal Band, and boy! r they good!!!

Finally after a long time I had a chance to discuss philosophy today with a bunch of folks. I used to do this quiet often when I was in delhi. But in hyd, there's only frend I have with whom i could hold such a conversation. So am kinda rusty in that dept now.

Todays discussion was not as stimulating as can be, one of the major reasons being that we cud talk abt it for only 15 mins.

We had started talking abt whether a person is product of his environment or does his basic nature also have a role to play. And as happens in such discussions, we kept jumping between topics and finally ended up discussing something as vague as the meaning of Instinct! :)

I believe that you cant brand a person to be a product of any one individual thing. Its a mix of a lot of things. Including the environment hes brot up in and his basic nature & values (values can again get hugely influenced by the environment). So what I am saying is that theres tight coupling between the two, and you cant just view it as a disjoint relationship.

Otherwise how else can you explain situations where 2 ppl brought up in very similar environments, react very very differently to different situations.

When I thought abt bloggin on this, I had so many ideas floating in my head... But now nothing coming into my mind. :(

Hope my brain cells r set in motion again seeing someone else's views on this...

Been seeing some kinda trend on my blogs. Whenever i write about some sane propah topic, the number of hits is hardly anything. But the moment I write about how my ex ditched me, how my life is gng down the drain, how much I hate life etc etc etc, the numbers shoot up like anything!

So, can I draw the conclusion that we all are sadists? Or is it that we draw happiness from the fact that others are more miserable than us? Human Nature?

Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!

Today I went to conduct an english session (abt 2 hrs) at the training camp we guys started.

Made me realise that we guys can prolly spk top (not the eng word but the hydie slang :) ) english, but teaching that lang! baba re baba! That language is sooooo silly! Hundred thousand ways of presenting the same thing! And how the heck do u explain these things to a person who's not so much exposed to the language???

Like this question they asked me: Whats the diff between Took and Taken? How do u explain that? Finally after scratching my head for a long time, came up with the ans to that! I wont tell ya what it is, lets c how many of u can get the ans to that! :-p

We'd given them Reader's Digests to read. They went to the Jokes section and could understand one of those. So asked me to explain it. The best part was after I explained it to them, they not only understood it, but laughed too! Must have laughed just so I dont get disappointed! :-D

Realllllly enjoyed the session today. Hope I can slip off again tom for it! :-)

Aaaah!!! One more thing... :-) Before the session was to start, Venus n I were to meetup to discuss some things. But she called and said she had to go somewhere to collect some certs, as they'd won some comp. So, she wanted to know if we could go thogether, so that we can discuss it on the way... And surprise surprise, when we reached there, she found that they had some prize money also being!!! So as a treat for that, we both went for chat and had Dahi Paapdi and Dahi Puri! :blushing: :-D

Hey Guys, am soooo kicked today! :-D :-D :-D

I might have mentioned in the previous posts that I am working with an NGO. A trng prog totally designed and conceptualised by us has fianlly started today! A very very big thing for the 3 of us who were invoved in it from the beg.

And many thanks to Dawn, Rainmaker and Portuguese Man-Of-War. Portuguese Man-Of-War, thanks a TON for that excellant comment. Loved ur Wax philosophy! :-)

And hey Rainmaker n Dawn: you know I am a perfect example of Do what I say, dont do what I do! ha ha ha! When I counsel someone going thro a patch like this, I say exactly the same things u said! But for me myself, I am having to be reminded by you guys! THANKS!!! :)

And sorry for posting/replying so late. I was cutoff from the net the whole weekend and was quiet busy in the office today.

Dammit, really tired of myself and my bloody emotions. Feeling quiet upset again today. My emotions r either hitting a super high or all time low; With the all time low being re-defined every time. I really think I should go see a shrink, so that s/he can throw me in an asylum n lock me up.

Sometimes, I wonder if I can ever forget her? I keep thinking back, the 3.5 yrs we spent together. And at the end, got dumped so awfully. And that with the comment: You are too nice a person for me...

Do you know anyone whose been dumped 'cuz he was too nice? Till now I never thot there could be a "too nice". If I am really that nice a person, why arent good things happening to me? Or has the almighty also convinientlt forgotten abt me?

Is it really possible to stop loving a person? Ever?

I was reading Dawn's blog (http://dawn.fullhydblogs.com/) and how some friend of Dawn's is depressed and is talking abt Suicide. Just reminds me of the time when I was going thro a patch like that. I was totally sloshed after an office party where I saw her dancing with her new bf. That night was the one and only time I ever thot of suicide. A lot of ppl will term it as being a loser. To those folks: U shud thank the god that u guys dont know how it is like. Trust me, I used to think like that myself. But after having gone thro it, I can tell u its not something that one does my choice...

She didnt call, neither did she come on chat. And when I called, she was merrily sleeping. (*$_))(_%$#@$()#@*&$()*#@^$*)&@#^)(@&#()@#

I hope she's alright... :-(

Feel like something's missing from my daily routine. Got so used to chatting or talking with her everyday.

Now u see what I've been talking abt all this while? I get so restless if there's no contact between us for even a single day. :-( This happ just once before and I reacted exactly same then too...

Main kitna bada gadhaa hooon!

Well, just realised this paradox we all face when we fall (or think we have) for someone whom u r good friends with...

Am I mistaking my love for her as friend to be having feelings for her?

Happens all the time, right?

I guess I still need to sort out my myself n my emotions/feelings before anything else...

U remember the girl i was talking about in my first 2 posts? Lets call her Venus (Roman Goddess of beauty). :blushing:

We met on an online community and are working on a few projects together. So, we end up meeting atleast twice a week. And either talk or chat everyday. :-D

We were (plz note the past tense) constantly pulling each others leg even on the online community. It was all quiet harmless in the beg. We were just gr8 friends. But then my friends from that comm started asking me whats our "status" :rolling my eyes: and got me thinking abt what I actually feel for her. And to my shock n surprise I think I am falling for her. 

Why shock n surprise? 'Cuz i didnt think i could come out of the shock at being dumped (by my ex) so soon n fall for someone else. Its only been 5-6 months till now. WTF am I thinking! 5-6 months is a looooong time right?

Anyway, here I come to that classical dilemma: I dont wanna admit abt it to her, 'cuz I realllllly love her as a friend, and dont wanna lose her totally. Sooooo...

And dont think that just 'cuz we talk or chat everyday, she also feels for me. She's that typical tomboyish types! :) Has loads n loads of guy friends. Initially even I thought that she had something for me. But not anymore. But she also says that shes not friends with them. Hope she doesnt feel the same about me. :(

So, should I tell her?

Hey bloggie dearest! Sorry ra! Ignored u for the past few days. :(

Lots been happening in my life and I dint have access to net a coupla days, so...

Anyways, one good thing is that my parents r here, visting, so am one happy child. :)

Which takes me to the topic I wanna write about. One good thing that has come out of all that crap I went thro, is that now I am involved with an NGO which is into Child Labor Abolition and Child Education. Uptil then, even I was giving just lip service to all these issues, just like most other indians.

On saturday we guys went on a field visit to one of the camps run by our NGO. Altho this wasnt the first time that I whad gone to such a camp, but somehoe intreacting with those kids who've been rescued from Child Labor always moves me. Seeing them come out so strong inspite of the adversities faced by them, is always a pleasure.

Yesterday we guys watched a smal video on Cihld Labor eradication and how parents are taking to it. It showed a few case studies, where the family income was abt 6 to 8K per annum, and yet they were very happy to spend nearly 4K on the child's education alone! Will we ever be able to make such a sacrifice for our kids' education? I wonder...

Also, that after the kids started going to school, the family actually became a family. The parents became the providers and child - the one being pampered. Otherwise uptil then, all were at the same plane, since everybody was working (not necessarily earning). Infact some parents even turned up at the Bridge Camps with gifts for their kids. And no parent complained about the lack of an earner in the famliy. On the contrary they were happier spending on the child.

Did you know that most of the schools in rural areas have a classsize of 300 children but only 1 teacher! 'Cuz the govt has sanctioned only 1 teacher per school? And yet the parents are willing to send their kids to those schools, in the hope that they will improve somebody.

So how long are we going to use Poverty as an excuse to let Child Labor continue? How long will we continue to justify a child going to work just 'cuz his/her parents are poor? How long?

Think about it...

Hi Guys!

 Thanks to all those who posted comments on my first blog! :-)

 Those who had gone thro my last post, must be wondering what kinda crazy ass I am... He He He. Lemme assure you, you guys are thinking absoultely right! :-D I can hit a super high and an ultra all within a span of few mins. :-))

 Just ctrl c ctrl ving what i posted on the comments: Fortunately yesterday was a one-off, i've mostly gotten over the shit, but still sometimes I just get it into like nobody's business. :| Just to get a feel of what my days used to be like. :rolling my eyes:

 Anyways, I am back to feeling great today! First pleasant surprise of the day: my US counterparts actually did some quality work; so the bloody P1 I was working on yesterday, is finally out of my queue. Thats a first for me! :-) Otherwise its mostly we idiots who keep emptying their queues. :smirking:

 Had a gr8 day @ office. Basically fultu masti and time pass! Heard loads of Eminem. Love that guys compositons! He is da best! Also like 50 cents - In Da Club.

 And yes met that friend I coudlnt chat with yesterday. It seems she was in a CC (Cyber Cafe, silly), and the power went off. Also, got to see a snap of ours, just the 2 of us :-), shot at a get-toether we'd gone to on sunday. I am grinning like the usual constipated self, but shes looking very pretty. :-) And no guys, she aint my new GF :|

Well well well, this is my first blog entry.

As most others, I never thought that one day I will also have a blog of my own. Never thought I would ever use this medium to voice my thought, my opinions, my frustrations and blah blah blah...

But unlike most others, i am starting this blog 'cuz I am feeling ultra low today. Just wanted some medium to went out my anger/disappointment at the world. Thot this would be better than getting back home and crying. Yea, I am a metrosexual man whose not afraid of his emotions. :)

Its just been one of those days when nothing goes right, in both personal and office life. And to top that an ulta emotional asshole like me! Somehow everything thats not been going right for the past few months came rushing back to me!

Everything was hunky dory as long as I was in Delhi. In Jan my GF (of 3.5 yrs) and I moved down to Hyd 'cuz we both got jobs here, in the same co! We even took up apts close by so that we could be near. But within one month of coming to Hyd, my perfect world came shattering down upon me, she dumped me for some other guy. And me being me, am unable to shake myself off it.

And today a friend i really wanted to chat with, couldnt spare the time and worse; she signed off without even saying bye.

And to top that I sprained my fucking foot 10 days and it still refuses to heal.

Really feeling very upset today. Feel like nobody cares a shit whether I live or die! Just want someone to come up to me and say "Hey, I care!"

I know I know, all this is BS, my family cares n all. But they are not here, are they?

And all that my relatives here care about is hw much time I spend with them over the bloody weekend.

Hate this bloody fucked up life of mine.

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