algorithmic randomizations !

          Is this when i look around and wonder,
           Wonder how the worlds changed in one moment,
          Is this when i sit down ,and look back ,
            Look back at what made me this way,
          Is this when i wonder ,where i went so wrong,
           Went so wrong that now bliss seems so far away,
           Is this when i shut myself off,
            Shut myself from the questions,the answers and the pain,
           Is this when i realise that it was all just a dream ,
            A dream i thought i was living ..until today ..
          Is this when i look ahead , and search ,
            Search for that elusive bright spark that could light up today,
           Is this when i let go , of  all that i wanted,
            And start all over again ...
           Is this the time for a new beginning ,
            or Is it the end of everything that ever began ..?
                      

     She waited at the door,
     all morn and night,
     hopin tht soon she wud see light,
     she waited at the door,
     and gazed into the darkness,
     she waited ...for her sailor to come by.

     Seasons changed,but at the door she stayed,
     " Oh sailor,of the oceans far far away,
      u told me you had to leave ,
       only to return...you told me
      in my arms is where you belong.,
      you told me tht our life would be one happy song."

       Nothing could stop her,
      "one day he will come by,
       for he is my knight of the seas,
      i let him go ,
      for i loved him,
      hes livin his dream,
       and im weavin mine...."

     " why ?" , they asked her wen she was all old and grey,
     "he didnt belong here, the waters were his home,
     he couldnt love you,for he was a slave of the winds...
     then why ,why did you stop living....
     look around you ,look at what u r missing!"
    
      with a smile tht said everythin but none,
      she replied  "The waters are his home,
      this threshold is mine ,
      he goes where the winds take him,
      and  one day they will bring him here"

     " this is my purpose,
       this wait is my life,
       this is not sorrow,
       not even pain,
       my sailor sent me a life,
       from so far far away"

what do you do when you plan a birthday surprise the whole evening, when the birthday boy happens to be your dad , when u keep cursing yourself for not being able to come up with anything new , when u sleepily stay awake till 12 to wish him and 'surprise' him ,to make him cut a cake n all,u keep a camera ready( u actually search for it !) u wake up your insensitive,indifferent sister who then curses you in all the possible languages including your mother tongue,when u pride yourself on being the one with the spirit (at 12 in the nite !) and when u finally wish your father ....he smiles and says ...'thank you ,but im too sleepy to get up now ..so please dont make me do the whole cake -cutting routine ..please' and goes back to sleep......

what do you do people ?!

you shrug ...'daddy ,will you cut it tomorrow ?!'

dad:'yeah sure no problem,goonite thanks anyway !'

sigh ...so much for all the planning ...

put the cake back in the fridge ...there it lies ..all white and creamy ...says happy birthday dad .....close the fridge (angrily )!

goodnight .